Broken. Lame. Not Sound.

Last week I went to the Specialist at The Andrews Institute here in Gulf Breeze. Before my appointment I had the MRI done. Boy was that weird. I could feel my toes tingling as it read my flesh. 

But anyway, here is the diagnosis:

A schriveled up ACL and a torn Meniscus. The pointer is the anterior cruciate ligament.

My surgery is scheduled for the middle of September. 

LISTEN PEOPLE- It looks like I can walk FINE but actually every time I take a step with my right leg it feels like the top of my knee is going to slip off the bottom half. If I get to eager with my walking I can over bend the knee and so goes lightning bolts down the right side of my body. I can't bend it all the way. I can't react quickly and I am high alert to that. I am going to the barn the same but I'm limited to what I can do. I'm getting rather pissed off. At everything. 

I'm confident that I am in the right place as far as treatment goes. The Andrews Institute is infamous for Orthopedics and their doctors are the best. Heck, my doctor has eighty five signed posters and pictures of athletes in his office- including Charles Barkley! But really, He seems to be a very distinguished and knowledgeable Physician. I've read some of his essays online and I trust that he will get me back in the saddle as soon as possible and the operation will be a 100% success.

While I was researching facts about this injury online I came across a lot of interesting things. Like, it's quite a big deal. And when the ACL tears one major indication is that you hear a loud "pop" at time of injury. And that women athletes are more prone to this particular injury due to the angle of our hips. And that the recovery is very hard...and that you can get fat if you don't watch what you eat because it stops you from excercising everyday! I'm like a racehorse on stall rest with frustrations.

I'm broken. Lame. Not Sound.

My, what an amazing depth of feel you have.

Contemporary Healthcare

The X-s&G is the greatest invention to modern medicine since the sterilization, beneficial to the elevenhundredety people that can't afford Health Care.
It goes like this:
Took a fall, got a bit hurt and wondering if any bones are broken.
Drive 5-15 miles to the nearest drive up X-S&G.
Choose drive up or walk -in.
Slide Twenty Dollars into the slot exactly like a slot machine.
Place this big heavy coat on. Wait for green light.
Place body part up in "this area" and press "this button"

Wait 17 minutes.
"After you pack yourself an ice pack with our free ice, relax in our waiting room on the plush Microfiber sofa, read our endless issues of gossip magazines & wi-fi, and most of all enjoy a quick rest! You've just had an accident and we don't allow fluorescent lights!"

Watch as your film develops and slides through the slot.
Hold it up to the light.

Send a txt to your best friend.
"Naw, dood. It's not broken, I'm not going to the hospital."

Today I heard that the doctor who helped me out with the little hatchet in the foot incident is praticing here at the Orthopaedic Hospital (The Andrews Institute).
I asked for him, I wonder why they didn't at least get the Bookout (HA! that's the Dr.'s name that I want!) to see if he was around. Two nurses and a Immobilizer Fitting Tech just looked at each other and no one knew him. The nurse wrote a doctors name for me to call on the paper, told me he was affliated with TAI.  I called the number. On the third time I was told that this doctor is not with TAI, and here was the number to his office in the Breezers.
Wait.
what? 

Did that just happen?

The dipstick in my car is broken and I have to grab it with little pliers. I went to put it back into position and it dissappeared. Where the dipstick once was was a 2" round hole in the thingy on the motor. It didn't fall in. The whole plastic casing fell through the hole. 

Hyperflexion Tension

omy god!

I am growing very impatient with the situation. I am at a point where I refuse to accept that I will be off of my horse for an extended amount of time. I'll get restless. My center will be all wacked. I can't take The Mutch man for a walk right now and when he looks at me with those eyes I feel like such a boob. 

I'm so thankful to my friends that are helping me out. I love them all!

I go to the Ortho in a few days. I hope that the Doctor is compassionate and understanding of how I will pass right out and fall on the floor if he mentions the S-word. I will heal my knee with my diet, massage therapy, meditation and a bone specialist. No screws or shots or scapals. The hospital referred me to an Orthopedic and I thought they said he was a part of The Andrews Institute but when I called I found out he's not. I would like one of the doctors from there. One of them fixed some big sports star's injury so I hear (lol). 

And by the way, why do you have to go to a bone specialist to find out about ligaments and tendons? I don't know. To me its like going to an ear nose and throat doctor for dental problems. I don't know anything.

The only reason why I am coming from a place of minor terror is because IT HURTS!

The crutches are a bit too tall for me so I'm limping around...why not get new crutches? BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO NEED THEM TOMORROW thank you very much.


The Immobilizer. UGH. Feels worse in this. So I don't wear it. 

I can't take any more of those pain pills, I took one today. When it was in full effect I could imagine how EASY it is to get hooked on pills. But when it wore off I know I got cranky and short tempered. I KNOW that is my body telling me to STOP.IMMEDIENTLY. I don't want to WANT one or two or ten everyday, so that's it. I put the rest away. Pain meds make me feel goOOOOoood...BUT, the time for me to move to the Advil is when I get cranky coming down off of one. 

I managed to venture out to the barn and driving hurts. I have to sit way back and it just aches the whole way there. This is no more safe than driving my car with airbags hanging out, but I managed and I was really careful. Don't get me wrong, it was scary. But I want to go. I need to go. Today I took Mutch with me and the teenager took him on a nice run through the field, I was happy about that and so was he.

I've built this makeshift stool under my computer desk to rest my leg on so that I can keep working and its working out pretty well. I couldn't help but to do some research on knee injuries when I sat down tonight. I want to make sure that I am familiar with the knee and exactly how it works before I go in. I start reading about knee injuries and I have to start writing because either that or I PUKE. 

My eyes travel from the left to right and with each vowel my stomach tuns into another knot. Third degree Strains...ligament stretching or tears....and this really made me nauseous "Twisting injuries to the knee put stress on the cartilage or meniscus and can pinch it between the tibial surface and the edges of the femoral condyle, causing tears."

I am literally squirming in my chair. OUUUCHH! The whole nightmare comes rushing back and I can't take the anxiety. 

This sounds about correct...

Tear of the ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) may feel or hear a pop in your knee, intense pain and immediate swelling. Knee may "buckle" or at least feel as if it might give way when you try to stand or put weight on it. In most cases, you'll have to stop all activity, either because the pain is too severe or because your knee isn't stable enough to support your weight.

I need a minute.

My knee just turned onto an ex-boyfriend. Can't trust it.

Yes, I shall move the fan.

I saw the BO when I took Dusty back to his barn on the other side of the property and asked her some things about the fan, and if that STUFF actually works.

Me: Hey Yeenie! Is there some reason my horse would all the sudden me pressing his ass up against the boards of the stall like this (I press my butt up against the frame of the door)?

Yeenie: Ooh, have you wormed him yet?  

She said, as she is drawing some milky white liquid into a needle so big it made me wince.

Good. Exactly what I was thinking.

Me: No, I have it but I want to worm him on saturday. Weird. I got him some more Guiness in the fridge. There is no sweat at all now, before at least there was a little trace. How has the STUFF worked for the others so far? Is it safe for me to mix the beer and the STUFF?

Yeenie: Good, they're sweating a bit. Sure, you can mix it, The Painter did fine with both. You worm him! 

I asked her about the fan situation. If I could move it and if I can find a bigger one for cheap if I can put it out for a little while and I'll pay a lit extra board. She was ok with both and then told me that someone bought two big huge metal fans at a yard sale for Fifteen dollars. 

I was tittin around as the girls were getting ready to leave and after long deliberation I decided to start taking the fan off the front of the stall. I took Dusty out into the round pen, its cooler outside anyway. And I need to put it on the inside of the stall for my imagined airflow. I drug my tack box to the spot I need to reach and stepped up onto it to cut the zips.

Yeenie: (as she's walking out to go home)...Goodnight Christine! See ya tomorrow! You be careful, don't you fall off that box!

Me: OK! goodnight!

I then began to cut the zip things and unplugged the fan. Went to grab some twine because I've engineered it to the greatest swiftness in all my creativity. The way this fan shall be situated the air will be like a hurricane of conditioned wind cooling my pony to a comfortable body temperature and he will again think that I am the greatest ever. MUAWWHHHh HA HA AAAAH.

My plan was to tie it into place and then tie it better once it was where I wanted it. I began to finagle it into place. 

Sweat is dripping down my face so that I have to use my sweaty dirty shirt to wipe my eyes. My shirt has all the dirt from the front of the fan all over it. I tried to use my arm instead but I didn't want a face-full of cobwebs and dirt. Every time I got it into place, one corner would slip. I couldn't get the twine to tie and the fan not fall. I haven't checked on Dusty in the round pen. I'm sure he's fine but still you check, its just what you do. 

Text from Leggs: dusty more calm tonight

My reply: Yes, thanks- I'm about to have a come apart trying to move this fan. I wonder if Fancy is here...

Text from Leggs: Poop

I put the fan down to go and see if Fancy was up in her barn doing her thing. She is always there as late as I am and beside just loving the hell out of her, she's always willing to lend a hand! (I hope) 

I looked over yonder and I see the lights on, I'm so excited that she is there that I just ran the whole way. 

Me: Hey FANCY!  How are ya?!

Fancy: Hey! I'm good, just finishing up here. What's up?

Me: Well, I was wondering if you could help me out, I'm trying to move dusty's fan and I could really use an hand. You need any help with anything in exchange? (laughing)

Fancy: YES! Help me carry these bags of feed into the barn. Can you carry a bag of feed? Is it too heavy for you? (she's being a boob) 

Me: Ha, ha very funny and yes! Let's do it!

Were now in my barn and we are both trying to get the fan to stay in my utopian place and it won't flipping go there. Then she sees that the whole problem is that it needs to be tied from the bottom. Seems as though my whole plan was a little upside down? Go figure.

Fancy: Twine, Twine you need another string. 

Me: Ok, hold it. Got it?

Fancy: Yep!

This repeated three more times. Untill we have to tie the twine around this huge support beam and the twine refused to do what I wanted it to do. You know things like GO AROUND THE POLE AND DROP TO THE OTHER SIDE?

Me: wait! HOLD IT HOLD IT!

Fancy: WHAAAT!?

I needed more height or I'm really going to have a come apart. I could go look for a ladder but, one great thing about barn girls is that we're resourceful. I go towards the front of the barn and grab this big bucket. I put it on top of the tack box and climb on top of it. The tack box is sturdy and I've stood on a bucket thousands of times, so mixed up into a cocktail it was harmless. 

Fancy: OHHhhh No. You better not fall off that thing.

Me: Oh, I'm not going to FALLLLLL, come on, I'm tuff! I have medical insurance! Here, hold it up a little and I'll tie it...

Fancy: ok, You got Aflack?! haaah! Oh that's right you sit at the computer all day don't you? Ok, now come check it and see if you like the angle. Turn it on. NO! don't turn it on!...

(She was standing right in front of it)

Me: haaah! OMGosh! I'm so excited! yaaay! 

I go to step down to the ground and for some reason my brain calculated the distance to the ground to be the height of the tack box. NOT the tack box PLUS bucket.

Ever miscalculate stairs in the dark? SUCKS.

My foot did actually land on the ground, I rolled to the ground face on barn floor in not even caring about it style. Lying there mere fetal position saying to myself, it is NOT broken. Nothing is broken. maybe ripped, but not broken. I tried to wiggle my toes...

I had three thoughts in one-second:

holy shit. I'm a dumbass. I was on THE BUCKET!

Boots. Boots. Take the boots off immediently! NOONE is cutting my Made In Italy tall boots!

IT. HURTS. KNEE. I CAN'T TALK. I can't breathe. OMG WHAT WAS THAT POPPING SOUND?????????? MY KNEE!

I can't laugh during this awkward situation, and Fancy is on the inside of the stall, watching this happen.

Fancy: I TOoooOOOLD you not to fall! You're an old lady! You can't be doing those things anymore!

Me: (I am trying to get over the searing 3 minutess of my body letting go of all endorphins she is crackingme up!) UUUGGGGGGhhhhhhHHHH!!!!!!

Fancy: I TOLD YOUuuuu not to fall! what a dumbass, oh! YOU OK?! Are you laughing or crying?

Me: UGGGGGGGGHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH. 

I realized I was almost licking the floor of the barn and yes, I'm doing BOTH at the same time. Her comments might sound mean as I type it but believe me her delivery is priceless. You would be cracking up too.

She comes out from inside the stall to see me. 

Fancy: What happend? what did you doOOOO? Did you say you had Aflack? you're OLD! You can't do thissss.Dumbass.

I'm laughing with a wince of pain look on my face. She cracks me up. I'm starting to "come to" and I tell her...

Me: I FUCKING forgot I was on the BUCKET TOOOOOO! I AM A DUMBASS!! I thought the distance was the tack box!

Fancy: Did you fall?

Me: PSHHHHT, NOOOoooooo. what would make you think that? Really though, my foot landed fine then...DID YOU HEAR THAT??! 

Fancy: Hear what? No.

Me: SOMETHING POPPED or ripped, I dunno its ohhhh its bad. I gotta walk. I gotta get up and walk. Can you help me with my boot please so it doesn't have to be cut off?

Fancy: HAAAAH, you crack me up. Sure. can you get into the stall and see if you like the angle? 

I look at my sock. 

Fancy: go ahead, your stall is clean.

I wonder if I can even walk.

Me: Dood! I don't know if I can walk! I'm SO SORRY! I swear I'm just an asssss! I'm so sorry. It's great. It's perfect really. It's up there and its pointing down onto him, its the best in the world! I'm really NOT about to micromanage this project at this point. THANK YOU so much. Can you go get my horse please?

She laughs and heads out to get Dusty and I am limping along the walls of the barn trying to take a step on my bum leg. Just one step, that's all I want but every time I put any weight on it for a mere second it feels like my knee is not aligned. Indeed the weirdest feeling I have ever experienced. It actually feels like my leg would just split into two parts. I can't take a step because my knee just turned onto an ex-boyfriend. Can't trust it.

Me: Fancy, don't you tell a soul that I just fell off of a bucket! I'm telling them that you made me ride that crazy Arabian again and he bucked me off!

Fancy: He doesn't buck.

Me: Well then OMG I was thinking as he ran off across the property with me!

I can't say that I wasn't pooping my pants. But I'm determined and imagined myself as a sports star with the crowd anticipating me up, walking off the field. 

After a few minutes I was able to put weight on it enough to slub around like a slub should slub. I said goodnight to the D and muddled my way to the car. It's my right leg, but I could drive and I even went to the convenient store to get some ice. I figured it's not so bad, heck- I'll just be limping around for a short while. I got home and went directly to my bed, my leg up on a pillow with ice and fell quick asleep. 

For about 15 minutes. 

At 4 am I tried to get up to go to the bathroom and reconsidered my thoughts about limping around for a short while. I tried to assume the slubbing position and holy balls! Felt like I just grabbed the nearest lightning bolt. Hopping on one leg didn't work either because I'm pretty sure I know what it feels like to be hit by shrapnel now. 

I kept getting up, I couldn't sleep. I waited till the early morning and decided it was definitely time to go to the hospital. I needed some pain pills. Call it a day.

Did I mention that I'm sitting here with a bum leg?

Dusty has not been sweating. It's really dangerous when horses stop sweating because the obvious. They can't cool themselves.  He was sold to me with the disclaimer that "this horse doesn't sweat" After getting him I read everything I could about Anhidrosis in horses. I learned so much from the most reliable sources that I could find on the internet. The only thing that I really would prefer to do about it is the Acupuncture.  From what I've read, it is consistent for positive results. 

HElloOOOoo. I love in Pensacola. Horse Acupuncture?

UHhhh.

I gave him some vitamins and some minerals and he just started to sweat again. I know weird right? but heck I really didn't BELIEVE that he just DIDN'T sweat, I just thought that there was something inside him that needed to be jump started, and I believed that it was because he needed minerals- I have no idea what made me think that but, placebo works. 

There was not much of a problem last summer but this summer is a completely different story. It is BALLS HOT down here and with the heat index at 112 degrees walk outside and you are immediately covered in sweat. I like it. NO, no I LOVE it. I love this weather. It is one reason why I love living in Florida.  But its hard for the ponies! I am lucky to have Dusty in a big pasture with trees. I know that he stands under the trees all day but it's 110 Degrees in the shade, literally. The BO is really totally awesome running around and hosing horses off as they come in for dinner, but I consider that it is my responsibility to take care of the situation, and Dusty is not the only one. There are 9 horses at my barn not sweating. Yes, you're right- all Thoroughbreds. One from Ohio is all like "WTF?!"

It started (stopped) the weekend that I rode in the clinic with Joann Rasmussen. She took me out three times to spray him down. He was huffing at a walk. I have been really careful riding him and not making him actually work but for 5 minutes. However, after that day I gave him four days off partly because he broke out in what I thought was hives, but really was a skin bacteria, yes! Dusty got the dreaded back clap that has now turned into a massive body covering case of rain rot. Hello Bleach baths! Bleaching saddle pads!  Bleaching brushes! Bleaching sponges! 

His back left leg swelled up like a football, not lame so I just hand walked him for two days then I figured at least to get on and walk him around. 

I went and got some Guiness Beer. Some poultice. Some B12 + Selenium. Some wormer. Some Gatorade powder (he LOVES it), had a coupon for Sand Clear, and lastly some Liniment. What does all that have to do with me getting the OneAC (a product to help Anhidrosis in horses) that I went to the tack store for? 

Nothing. 

I decided that I would try the Guniness first. It might've been because a mile down the road I realized that I left without it, but I just couldn't see forgoing a glass of Guiness for a bunch of powder chemicalstuffs. I haven't heard the best about the OneAc, and it says in the directions not to ride your horse and it takes two weeks for it to kick in. 

He likes the Guiness just fine, I put some feed in it though. He didn't even KNOW what a carrot was when I got him and now he will pretty much eat whatever I give him. Especially cotton candy. And Freeze Pops. 

I've been looking for a big huge fan for his stall on craigslist. The box fan I have would be overpowered by me blowing on him. But the BO asks us to get the box fans because the electric bill goes so high in the summer, I'm happy to oblige but right now I will give her however much extra money she requests if I can find a big ass fan. (lol) I started thinking about if I can make the box fan more effective. Its placed on his stall directly in front of the feed trough. 

I tried hanging a bag of ice in front of the fan. Old school air conditioning. Kinda worked. Got lots of laughs. Ice melted in 14 minutes.

I thought about taking the fan apart and finding the little button that will make the fan go faster, you know, like in a clear lighter- how you can take the back off and turn the little sprocket onto TORCH? yah, I don't think that's one of my best but I'm creative!

Then I thought that I would MOVE the fan. I shall move it so it is in the corner on top of the stall, blowing down onto him...

bad days they are never bad, but the "learning" days

A bit off today in our lesson. Me because I kept loosing my stirrups which means that I wasn't using my aids, namely; my seat worth a shit. And that's probably the reason that he decided to pull a few fast ones on me and duck out of the arena as we tracked pass A.

The third time he did it...well, next thing you know I just hauled off and whapped him on the ass with my hand (I don't have to carry a whip THANK GOD.) SO hard it made a loud clap, and BOY! was he ever so surprised, I mean he only did it TWICE BEFORE. He threw his head up in opposition and immediate cantergettingfasterrrrrrr. My hand is now tingling numb and when I looked down, I had a mess of reins. Ok, I wish my fingers to work again. Right now would be great.

 OH MY GOD what have I we started. I KNOW what comes next. LOCK DOWN. I turn his head and I SIT. STRAIGHT. UP. Stopping back, strong abs, hands at withers, STRONG, auhgh!!! STRONG! All I can think is "OMGOMGTWOMORE SECONDS TWOMORESECONDS..." I know that he will give in.
Often I think that my riding will get better as my timing gets more experienced, hence this is a great experience because as soon as I feel the slightest muscle in his body relax I"M OUT OF THERE.

I want to try and explain it in terms that non horse people could really get a good mental picture of some of the experiences we have with our horses. Many people try and do the same, I know. But they are not me and they might not compare putting the lock down on a horse about to something very very STUPID, with uhm- let's say your body is in some kind of coffin with metal studs inside. You tense up every muscle in your body in some last ditch effort to dissapate into thin air because someone just strapped you to the nose of a missile and the coffin handle is stuck so you have to hold back the blasting rocket boosters because you know they will stop a n y s e c o n d?

yah, it's kinda like that.

Doesn't matter though. The good days, the bad days they are never bad, but the "learning" days.  

Venice, Louisiana, Boat Captain/ by Catherine Craig

MICROBES! MICROBES! MICROBES!!!!!

As if its not bad enough already, those asshats go and spill a bunch of toxic CHEMICALS in the water to thin it out! I stood there and watched the water roll in, it BUBBLES! Tons and TONS of little bubbles popping in a very weird and eerie way.

Hey OBAMA why don't you look into MICROBES, ya jerk!
here, let me make it real easy for you:
Bioremediation
Bioremediation
THE EPA endorses BIOREMEDIATION, but I guess that BP hasn't gotten control of them the same way they have taken control of this whole situation, becuase HERE is the real story here on the Gulf Coast:
A friend of mine posted these things she has heard first hand....

"Today, a fisherman told me that his two best friends that have shrimp boats, contracted with BP for dead marine life disposal. They use their boats to pull in the floating carcasses. They load them onto barges that take them down to Mexico to be burned. It's for "public health reasons that they dont want them washing up on shore. REALLY?

I asked why they dont take pictures and he said they have families to worry about. What kind of scare tactics is BP using against these people!?!

A boat captain said he saw crews being instructed to burn oil areas where large sea turtles were trapped by the booms. They burned them up with the oil to keep from having to stop the burn for a rescue that could take hours. (Call me a bleeding heart but that's savage.)"

BP Oil Spill DISASTER

I have some things to say about this whole thing, but I don't have time right now.

Here are some pics from Pensacola Beach taken the day the oil hit our beach. WE ALL need to do our part to stop relying on these Oil Corporations. Corporate America is corrupt and GREEDY.

OH! and Did you know that High-fructose corn syrup is ONLY LEGAL in the US????????










BEFORE


AFTER

Do your part!
STOP
supporting
BP!
This is NOT a Natural Disaster, This is a HUMAN DISASTER!

Don't be a PUSSY PANTS like THAT well known "mommy blogger"!

DO NOT CANCEL your trip to the Gulf Coast! We need your support to stay alive, and to get our beautiful beaches back!

it is still beautiful here and there are pleanty of other things to do. The oil has not seeped into the hotel pools, the hotels, the theaters, or the restaurants just to name a few!

I am so going to cosplay Kate at the next Con

YES! I am a HUGE fan of the show LOST and after watching the final I went into the message boards to see what everyone was saying. Btw, I loved it.

In the message boards over at USA Today "layfieldster" says: "More proof that the Sideways was some sort of purgatory is when Kate told Jack "I have missed you." In saying this, we are told that Kate went on to live the rest of her life and never see Jack again since he died as soon as they left the island. "

This hit me especially hard and I started sobbing.
If this could be true...
People often say that I remind them of Kate and or they associate me with Evangeline Lilly. That's not really what I think is freaky. What is freaky is the parallel that if thus were true, I have a chance to say the same exact thing that Kate told Jack to my own Jack.
He must be living on the island. He's one of the others not ready to remember and move on. He's in the flash sideways waiting for me. he's hanging out with Ben or Hurley.

...and then I was thinking about Matthew Fox. He used to be on a show that I watched and loved called "Party of Five" The one distinct thing I remember about that show is the episode that the family got together to have an intervention for the middle brother, Bailey who had a problem with alcohol. I was sitting on my  mod sofa with bright fushia flowers all over it in my old mansion apartment on the North side of Youngstown watching that episode and it hit me. All of the sudden I realized (like the Losties memories in the flash sideways.)
I was unaware up until that point that "my Jack" was an alcoholic.
I had seen the things Bailey (very well played by Scott Wolf) was doing and the reasons the intervention was planned. He treated me exactly like that.  I sat on my couch alone and cried for hours.

degrees-of-seperation-of-slub and I resemble Evangeline Lilly and Kate. The same actor starred in both television shows that touched one area of my life greatly. I can only hope one day that I will be able to find him, look at him with the same emotional compassion and understanding as Kate did Jack, and say "I have missed you." and walk into the light. Together. I wish I could touch on how emotional this is for me.


My Jack

Furthermore with the final show and the message boards, thank you Jalen_Lost for posting this in the abc forum
"It is NOT about any particular religion but near the end, at the church, you can see the symbols of the main religions - the moon & star of Islam, the yin-yang symbol of Taoism, the wagon-wheel looking symbol of Buddhism, the jewish star, the symbol of Om, the holiest of Hindu mantras, and of course, the Christian cross.
It doesn't matter what religion you believe in, in the end -- we all get to the same place..."

There are a lot of opinions on the message boards and also a bunch of whining. I think that Christian Shepherd standing in front of the window representing all religions was a major point of the ending.  Thanks Jalen for stating my exact thoughts so well. What a poignant ending to a kick ass show.

Don't look up

So I'm at a friend of a friend's house and I have to go to the bathroom. I've had a few beers and I have to go increasingly more and more as the seconds go by. It was getting to the point where I was just plain uncomfortable.
"May I use your bathroom?" I asked.
"Sure! Don't mind the mess, we're remodeling it right now." she said.

I walked in and noticed that the remodeling was actually pretty cool, kinda shabby chic. I sat down on the tolit and after looking at the cool stripped wooden floor I looked up at the wall on the other side of the room.


cockroaches. everywhere.

I changed my knickers soon as I got home.

One of the five. You pick.

There are a few names for this post. I thought of them while I was walking mutchie.
1. I think my horse thinks I need a hobby because I bug him too much.
2. In the words of CB ("The Teenager"): "Slubini, sometimes to be a good horse person it means having to leave your horse alone."
3. "Hello, everyone. My name is Slub. I'm a dumbass."
4. "R E S P E C T, my horse has NONE for me...sockittome, sockittome...."
5. "hey asswipe, stop wearing flip flops to the barn."

It really wasn't his fault. I mean really. Although he should not be biting me at ALL, I was warned. I KNEW it was going to happen and instead of ending the whole thing with him tolerating me petting him on the neck, I pushed.

What I did to Dusty today was not unlike if you had gone to the gym and worked out muscles you don't even know exist. Say, you were pretty much miserable in pain but dealing with people making you do things such as MOVE. Then you are done doing things and you get to sit on the couch and here I come poking and petting and just basically bothering you to high hell.
Then you tell me a FEW times that you're going to give me a black eye if I don't stop.
I don't stop.
You EVEN tolerate me poking a few more times...until, Until! My finger ends up in your crushing jaws!!

I shit you not people. He bit me again. And I knew it was going to happen.
Please don't tell anyone. Its getting embarrassing.

See, It was rainy and none of the horses had gone out all day. The rain cleared up when I arrived and I decided this was the perfect time to get the ball and horse out and head to his pasture. The other time I tried this at this barn there were horses in the pastures and they began to run, because if you have seen the video(s) of my horse playing with the ball you see he really steps up to the plate. He's Prix St. Georges of the Jolly Ball. So my efforts that day were cut short.

No horses out, dusty and I in his pasture (after lunging) I'm kicking the ball to him and he is doing airs above the ground playing with it. As usual he runs to the gate and watches me kicking and playing with it like a soccer ball. He waits. Then I kick it closer to where he is. And then I wait. Soon as I turn around he goes to the ball and leaps over it, picks it up throws it, stomps on it and it is TRUELY HILARIOUS when it rolls between his front legs to his back end, he gets so mad! Finally, he'll throw a buck and grab it, shake it back and forth in his mouth and start RUNNING. He runs two laps and he changes leads so swift you don't even see it happen. I'm standing in the middle of the large pasture watching him fly like the wind, My heart bursts with adoration of this animal. Nearing the trees he stretches out like a slinky in order to make it under the lower branches it's so incredible to watch. I will do that with him someday (on purpose).
I hold out my hand, palm up (I've taught him to come to me this way)
He turns around, and is now running straight. towards, me. 
Uhmmmmm. I held my arms up and he turned.
So, I caved on the little game of chicken with a thousand pound animal.
I held out my hand once more and he circled in to me. About 20 feet in front of me he went to a trot, so I stood looking down.
He stopped about five paces in front of me. I pet him. "omg! this is so cool!" I'm thinking. Whoa! He's breathing really heavy. First thing I do is collect the ball, game off. He needs to walk to cool down. I started walking toward the fence to grab his halter and I realized that he was already following me. We circled the whole pasture. We did some figure 8's and some circles. Stopping, backing, he was RIGHT there every time, no leash and not in my space. He gets a shower and we go graze on the other side of the property. He on grass and I on the berries that cover the lush yard.



I thought he would maybe be sore.
Yesterday he looked fine and I rode him he felt really good, nice trot. A good ride. Oh, and he was nice.
But not today. I was going to ride but it was raining so I packed my breeches into a bag and slipped on a skirt and flip flops.  Headed out to pick up the teenager and killer b. One goes to Baseball practice and one goes to barn with me.

There are a few dressage saddles for sale going around so Leggs came over to check the fit on Dusty. She went into his stall and he was NOT NICE. "OMG, he's SORE DOOD! He's that crabby?! he has to be sore!" I said- I guess in an effort to save him from her punching his crooked blaze off.
Then I connected it. He needs two days. The second day he needs something for his pain. I'm not into bute so I was thinking perhaps some BL Solution the day of workout/craziness. I guess it would make a difference to days after...(hmmm)
Leggs can't give lessons in the rain so she leaves the teenager there with me and heads into town.


So then I pretty much did what I said above all that other stuff and I got it. He bit the crap out of my finger.  Right hand pointie. right on the knuckle.
I looked saw no blood, but it hurt!
I grabbed the halter off the door and tried to smack him with the end of the lead. it didn't reach.
I had FLIP FLOPS ON. I'm stupid, but that's a death sentence. I'm not going in there.
I threw the whole thing at him and he slipped and fell in his stall because its humid out and even though there's enough sawdust, it happened. He looked really surprised and jumped right up. Scurried into the corner. I screamed at him. "BUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHAAAGGGHHHH!!!!" ...I was the only one around. I look down and there is blood everywhere. I can bend it. I can feel the tip of it.
Where's the ice? I'm good. It's all good. fine. fine. yah I'm fine (except for the sight of blood like that makes me faint-able.)
ok, time to go.
I head over to the other side of the property where the teenager is grooming her ponies.
"hey, cb, you ready to go?"
"yah, I'm ready. What happened?"
"ohhhh. nothing. ummm yah know, just one of those things...uhm. yah. I should've left him alone. It was my fault. totally." I said to her
"He BIT you AGAIN?!"
"Don't tell anyone!" I say.

We were looking at it in the light. Its just a small wound but its bleeding a lot! and AND AHHHHND I look and see that it looks like it has a tiny splinter sticking straight out of it.
Weird. There was no wood involved in the whole thing.
"CB! CB! what is this little thing sticking out of it?"
She looks closer and gives into her stomach. As did I when I realized that that little thing is not a splinter of any kind! I think its part of my vein! or nerve! or artery!

 Its our little secret for a whole three minutes. "CB, can you please call your mum for me?" I sunk my hand into a bag of ice from the connivence store on the corner.
I let leggs know that I might need to go to the hospital.
"My heart's not hanging out, but I think my vein is. Dontworryaboutwhathappened. Can you look at it when we get there?"
I'm driving down the highway and I got all sweaty. REALLY sweaty.
ooh I know what this means. I open all the windows, "sorry, Cb I need some air."
I could feel my whole body break out into a sweat all at one time. Profusely. I've got to be turning ghostly as we are driving over the bay bridge. I took some deep breaths and in a few minutes I felt a bit better.

Made it to Leggs hobbitty house and her boyhusfriend checked it out, He's in the medical field so he's got some little magnifying gadget out to look at it as I convulsed all over the floor. They both pretty much confirmed I didn't need emergency because whatever it is WILL DRY UP AND FALL OFF.

I'm sitting there at the kitchen table trying to get my stomach back, stop thinking about my vein hanging out of my finger, how bad it hurts and how dumb I was today.

Leggs says "should I make some foods?" and just like that I felt better. She said food. Even with a bum finger and a crushed ego best friends know just exactly how to make it all RITE. I enjoyed LOST on an awesome TV and Legg's Chicken Stuffed with Cream Cheese Wrapped in Bacon, kick ass my favorite rice, and a yummy yummy salad.

I almost forgot about my finger until....(to be continued)

on the shelf

If all of my past lives lived in little jars on a shelf, they would live in these little jars.

NUMBER9NUMBer9NuMBER9...

I know it's been a long time. I'm sorry that I have let down all 9 of my followers. I'm glad I have 9. I'm Surprised that I have 9. I mean really- Nine followers in what owhhh, SEVEN YEARS of writing a bunch of nothingness and a horse? So, thank you nine followers for being interested enough in this little thing I have going on to step up. I'm not even being sarcastic. I think its really cool.

See, I understand. This blog has no point. As if that isn't bad enough, It does not have contests in which you receive prizes like iPads, Nikon Cameras or Espresso Machines. I read these big time fancy blogs that have been around since I first started and now they are going on the national Morning Show to be interviewed live on television, they're getting to go to Amsterdam, they're meeting OPRAH. They pretty much all resemble each other. Abiet wonky, they're happy intelligent people enjoying their lives and families. And getting paid to tell about it. Because, unlike me, they have a POINT.

So I guess that I can do something to change that. That's if I decide that I want to be interviewed by the CBS morning show. That's really EARLY.
I guess the whole "mommy" blog thing has been done, and I don't have any kids so clearly, that won't work out. And so has the whole "child-free by choice" thing. I could probably slip into there but I'm not sure I can whole heartedly take the pledge. I've been to "glamourous and single" choice also. Although I am both of those things, I spend way more time in my Ariat's than my Jessica Simpson's. I couldn't help but to feel a bit in over my head announcing in my latest post that I wore my Citizen jeans to ride in and not only do they fit better, they now have poo all over them.
So what do I represent?

What is the POINT?

really? REALLY??

Leave it to the good ol'craigslist...

Want out of marriage - Need hot woman to seduce husband - m4w - 29 (FL or AL)
Date: 2010-04-07, 2:44PM EDT

Looking for a sexy woman who wouldn't mind seducing my husband to try to get him to cheat. He is pretty attractive and this is very real! I can voice verify and tell you the story ...

* Location: FL or AL
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

WHO does that?

Ariat, love ya but you just can't stay together.

Time for new boots.

I think that it is safe to make the assumption that seeing the wear and tear on the equipment that we use for our hobbies, or our sports lets us feel a certain amount of pride. The hours of life I gained and the things I have learned while being with my horse in these boots is well, memorable. I mean, they are still kiiiinda good..."They have soles! They're black!"

Really though that's a bunch of bullshit. I don't know why I am holding on to these boots any longer. These boots have no support. These boots have come apart at the seams. I'm not really sure what the THING is that I'm getting from these boots that makes me want to have them in my life.

I have had them for about a year and a half.
"SNAP!" the lace snaps apart. Again.
Uggh. I tie it in another knot and have to shuffle a bit.
Time for new boots.

Thank you MarkRobertson!

I have been meaning to post this.
My dear friend Krissy welcomes home her husband and C130 pilot, MarkRobertson with huge smiles!
He's ALWAYS "Markrobertson".
Welcome home from Afghanistan MarkRobertson, and thank you!!

no more of this, young man.

This is Dusty when I first got him around May 4, 2007.



And here is Dusty around September of last year.

Two things accurred to me as I was going through my Flickr photos.
1. Dusty looks really great!
2. And Interesting that I didn't know at the time, but when I got him he JUST turned four (Thinking he was four and a half was scary enough.)
April 2,2003 is his birthday. He's going to be Seven soon. Still a youngster but more responsible for his actions I guess, hah.
That means in this is seventh of many many many years to come there will be no more bites to the leggie...



...Bites to the elbows...

...or bites to the shoulders!!

The Hobbitty: Bathroom Situa.

My apartment or, as we all know it- "The Hobbitty". Short for "the Hobbitty Hole".  That is a term of endearment. I took this pic the first time I saw the place.


The bathroom sink in the Hobbitty is not in the bathroom. It is in between the kitchen and the little catch-all room. With good accessibility to the fire extinguisher.
That big box to the right of the sink is the rest of the bathroom. Yes, right there in that box no bigger than a porta-potty is a tolit AND a shower.

I don't live in NYC. This kind of stuff only happens in New York City right?
Nope. A cool little neighborhood called East Hill in Pensacola. The bayou is blocks away, very quaint and friendly place with parks. There are half a million dollar houses only blocks away, closer to the bayou but the charming part about East Hill are the duplexes, cottages-out-back and above-the-garage spreads. All of which have a bit of character. Instead of a secret trap door from the living room to the bedroom I got a bathroom sink in a really. Odd. Place.


And still, after 3ish years that's the most positive thing I have to say about the bathroom sink being in the the hallway.
But it makes for great jokes.
"This hotel room is not so great. The shower has low water pressure."
"Didn't you see the SINK in the bathroom?? This place is awesome!"

innocently interneting...

Open up Google. Search for "men's pima tee" and get "image" results.

"oh my. hmm, I guess I'llllll choooose THAT ONE!"

click. > click.

"WHATTTT?!"
Immediently take a pic of my screen and text it to leggs. "DOOD! I'm sure we need to do business with these people LMAO!"



It said "ENLARGE".
click.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! OMG!
Well done marketing team of that company! Well. Done.

paper bag

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love


-Fiona Apple

Accoutrements

I'm kind of a geek. My geekery doesn't go really far. I know that my computer is a Mac Pro Quad-Core 2.8GHz, and I know what that means. I know a little about Tengwar and Hobbits and even a teeny-bit about Steam Punks. My friends might disagree and say I'm a total geek. But they have never been to a "Con".


 MegaCon Orlando


MegaCon Orlando


"Cons" were something that I had no idea about until I got the chance to go with the workies. The big workie is a huge fan of comics Illustrated Novels, hey that's cool and anyway, there are a lot of artists and stars there showcasing and promoting their work. I have to say, Orlando's Con had more enthusiastic cosplayers (people that dress up as their favorite video game/ comic) than the "Sturgis" of these events last year in San Diego, the ComicCon. ComicCon was a bit more serious, energy wise. Orlando was FUN! and there was a huge variety of self expression.

So, for the 2 out of 2.5 people that read this blog I will tell you the way it goes at a con. This would be a great time to contrast and compare to a Phish show, but I'm not really into it right now.
- kids parade around in costume. You want to impress them? ask them for a photo.
- adults walk around in costumes. You have no idea wtf it is. You say "hey! who are you COSPLAYING?" (that word makes them at least think you know something about this stuff) and they will gladly tell you which character they are, from idea conception to present day.
- walk around look at things to purchase. Such as...

-a GIANT! knife that weighs fifty pounds.


Kitty Cat collars with big bells, and studs!


Kitty Cat collars with bells, studs and a LEASH! (Cathy loves it when I make her demonstrate for me)

So we walk, and we look at things that we have no idea what the use is for, which is quite interesting because the stuff is FUN! and its annoying not to be able to say "Yes, I shall need a pair of kitty cat ears to complete my Puffinslayer costume from the Avenging Feral Felines series, yes, yes, the 1996 verion! Your favorite also?!"  Instead of "OK SO what's with the EARS!?!" to the salesperson.


My Puffin$layer costume is COMPLETE!

- Now it's time to go out and get some fresh air. Make your way out of the "floor" area and into the hallway headed for the nearest exit and you will see something rather interesting going on. Groups of kids posing for a group action shots, and people throwing candy. Yes, you are to throw candy at the cosplayers if they "perform" for you. They really like "smarties" (HAHA)
- Outside now,  have a seat on the bench and watch the people from the Race car convention walking by the cosplayers from the comic convention.
- Talk about when, where to go eat, and how that time is getting close. Not yet, but close.
- Decide that there is just way to much fun waiting and head back onto the floor. Pass the vintage Eastern weaponry and the whole Star Wars fleet made from recycled computer motherboards without stopping, I dare you.
- Be careful not to trip over the 15th group of 25 kids in a circle playing some random game you have no idea what it is, with its trinkets and accoutrements.
- Try on more ears.
- Head to "Artist's Row" where you can say to yourself elevenhundredety times "I REALLY can't draw" as you walk by the very talented inkers, and colorers, and sculpters, and geekers (ha!) you'll see all elevenhundredety of their sketchbooks sitting on the table beside them as they work...
...The only thing that makes this bearable is my totally tainted sense of humor in which I imagine myself dressed up like "The Inker" and spray ink all over the tables of art way better than mine, stand up on the table, laugh like a villan and say "Who's the villan now?! huh? huh?" while looking in the mirror fixing my hair. I would jump down loudly and run out with my cape flowing in my path, but then others would be throwing smarties at me and I would loose traction on them, slip and slide across the floor and bust my caped ass in front of the cool kids. And then for the FIRST time in my life I would be able to say "Dissappearing Ink!! it's probably faded by now AND I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!"

sorry.

- Get your profile sketched by ONLY the most famous Playboy Cartoon Artist EVER on the front page of his book while he cracks you up with his friendly-ness and keeps telling you to "look at that window" as he sketches.

Mr. Doug Sneyd and I. Can you see the sketch? I LOVE IT!

DS " Christine, would you like bunny ears?"
ME: "YES! PLEASE! ABSOLUTELY! and BOOBS to go with them?!"
It was really nice to meet him and his wife. Very lovely people.

Big Workie is always running around like crazy at these things and if you want to see some good stuff, better try and follow him. He gets pictures signed by the actors to his daughters. This might sound cheesy, but Big Workie comes up with some pretty cool blurbs for them to write on that photo. For the Terminator girl, Kristanna Loken he had her write "To K,E: Don't let your dad terminate your boyfriends!" Cute.
He mentioned a Panel discussion.  I swear he said "total nerd booooringness" but no!  he said Billy D. Williams!


Colt 45...Works every time! (oh, and he was also in star wars)


-As geek burnout begins to set in stand in the hall and just ask people "comic book or video game?" as they walk by. Hope that you don't get spit all over when the giant cross comes up to you to tell you about that character, and wish so badly you can get in velvet ropes enclosing the REAL Flintstones car for a picture. There is just no way. Its being protected by the Ghostbusters!

Well, that's about all that's left to do for us. I think the others get together after the show and play card games & video games and stuff, but we went to see Alice in Wonderland at 3D IMAX (!) at at theatre where you can have a beer!

-On the way home stop at Adam's Rib in Gainesville, deal with all the orange and blue and get some of THIS!

Adam's Rib in Gainesville Fl. RIGHT ON. OMG the Greens!

I dunno, I was just driving then all the sudden....

Unfollow (I'm willing to miss the three times next month you actually get off your ass and exercise)

I just spent the last two hours up in a whole bunch of purses over on the FB. Great reference for fashion. After I looked at a few pages of pictures of people I don't even know I got bored. But I learned some things.

Yah, yah I see SR is rolling 465 hot chicks deep. Figures. Even though the bartenders give him rides home often (because he doesn't drive like that), the most handsome $ingle bachelor can always be found...have you ever seen the episode of South Park when Bebe gets boobs and all the boys turn into wild chimps? Exactly like that. Only the chimp-ie boys are very eligible bachelorettes.

Oh no! I see, (up in your purse) that one of my "friends" is no longer my friend! Hmmm. We were almost best friends in grade school! At least that's what I figured when you were one of four people that actually invited me to your slumber parties. Thank you for that. Thanks for tolerating me when I was the weird chubby one. I don't mind that you de-friended me. That little unicorn figurine you got me for my twelfth birthday that holds my memories of you will remain in my hope chest forever and ever. Unless you would like me to return it?

OMG! really? your friends with that girl that is married to that man that owns that place? That poor innocent girl that had no idea that her beloved spent a lot of time in the parking lot with that slutty blond. Everyone else did. I saw the pictures, the family has grown. I hope he's a changed man. Really I do. She was way to kind to end up with a cheating bastard. They can change I'm sure! I'm almost positive that my ex doesn't cheat on his new wifey (in their bed) like he did to me. How do I know he just got married? I was up in that purse too. He looks happy.

SHUT UP! I found you from this friend over here. It's the son of the woman that is the "main" woman in the life of a man with many many women. A man that told me countless times that he loved me. He's good at what he does. He could have given Tiger some pointers. He made me crazy. Crazy like, I FOUND all nine of the women, where they lived, what their phone numbers were, what car they drove and even that you and your mom are the only ones he takes around his family. I know, I know, I said crazy and I meant it. It was a rough time for me, I was pretty depressed and it gave me something to do until he showed back up at my house that evening, because it was me he was spending the night with all week. I just puked a little in my mouth reading what I just wrote. WHO DOES THAT? Your purse is quite interesting to say the least.

If anyone reading this post thinks for one second that I have way too much time on my hands and that I must be a very very sad individual- it's probably true however, I don't friend people that I didn't even speak to back then. At least I have that going for me.

 I guarantee you that at least half of your friend list is in my group. Really. I believe the FB exists for one main reason. Well, two. Ladies fashion and going in purses. I'm just not afraid to admit it. I'll write a thesis on it. It is what it is. For the most part my intentions are to see that people in all my many lives are happy and successful, but then the boredom sets in, and mouse clicks start happening...

Can someone PLEASE post the news that I guess I'm waiting to hear? And it's not when/what you eat, how often you work out, and how much money you spent today. Can someone maybe happen to find a dinosaur? PLEASE. Someone have SOME news worth reporting. SOMEBODY PLEASE discover the secret to the acient Mayas or SOMETHING! I mean, really. out of alll those people, no one wins the lottery??

I guess its human nature to want to voyeur on other people's lives. And from this post you can gather that I am no different. With that said I am going to seriously TRY and curb my addiction to the FB.
I hear that they will start charging for use pretty soon.