Thursday, April 14, 2005

Jesus is the CEO.

I made this for my little cousin who made her first Holy Communion last weekend. We all know what that means. FINALLY, she too will be able to partake in the holy sacraments of the body and blood of Christ. A traditional Catholic "promotion" of sorts. A time in a young Catholic's life as important as the Bahmitzvah to the J-Team, or the nose piercing of a young Hindu goddess. And it doesn't come free, it comes with weeks and weeks of sunday school to teach that jesus gave his body and blood FOR US. we're supposed to understand that However. I have been there.

See, the whole ordeal of communion for me, was that as soon as it was OVER, that meant mass was over and that was the GOAL-to get it the heck over with. So I can go back to class and I wouldn't have to endure Mrs. Honen's smacking my knees with a ruler because I had forgotten that if you cross your legs in church, the tip of your knee shows and that gives the boys hard-ons, and we wouldn't be having any hard-ons. That was just the PROcession of the communion...
As for the sacrament of communion,
When I was in second grade, what it really meant was: "OH THANK GOD! now I won't be sitting there all alone next Sunday when the rest of my family gets to go up and get a treat from the priest, and on special days...I'll get to DRINK WINE! I'm finally old enough to drink wine!! all that boring talk about jesus and body and breaking bread, (who breaks bread anyway? we CUT bread) has finally paid off." After myiiee first communion, I took it as an age granted permission slip to be able to DRINK WINE. yay.

Now in my thirties, it means something entirely different. I don't take communion anymore, and I certaintly wouldn't let my best friend drink from the same glass as me let alone the rest of the congregation. It's a little grose OK?
I abstain from communion because one reason: I do not believe that I need a priest or a saint to talk to jesus for ME. So that just about nix's everything that the communion represents, doesn't it?

Yeilding a good solid upbringing in the Catholic church that taught me respect and discipline I am grateful for even in my adult life, more than I think I am conveying here. Yet, they're the same morals I rebel against.
The Catholic church frustrates me with all of the "lucky lottery" saints and the "safe driving" saints, the saint that makes you take out weird ads in the classifieds, and the saint of holy tennis shoes, I mean c'mon...didn't they just tell me that it was a sin to worship other god's, a big sin? one of the top 10? and if I'm praying to them aren't I worshipping them?

so, why am I supposed to talk to St. Christopher before a trip when I can go right to the source? I made my first holy communion, jesus is MY man now. I eat his body.
Back then I just couldn't understand the levels and their individual significance. Now here's how I think it's supposed to be:
Jesus is the CEO, Mary is defidently the VP in charge of operations, St. Mary of Magdelene is the Social Chair, St. Francis of Assisi is the Marketing Mgr. and so on...whoa! look at that! St. Isidore of Seville is the IP dept! What second grader is supposed to know the order of importance levels of the employees at a Foutune 500 company? phsst, not me.

see what I mean! it's out of control.

I digress. It was wonderful to see my little cousin making her First Holy Communion she was so beautiful with her white gloves and matching iridescent clutch and shoes, veil and all...and it doesn't matter how many times I asked my mom "how long is this?".
Someday maybe MacKenzie will look back at memories and religious milestones she's making now, and remember how she never did get a good answer to her question on Good Friday...
"Mom, if Jesus dies today on the cross, then why do they call it good friday? that doesn't sound like it was good."
maybe she won't but either way,
I got'cha Kenz, I saw you eyeing the wine glass during the mass.

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