Thursday, October 27, 2005


I took Mutch for a walk yesterday afternoon. We walk along the tracks mostly because of Mutch's PPP problem- that's "perferred pooping placement" and also because it's a treasure hunt of sorts, people send ALL KINDS OF SHIT hurling out of the windows of their cars and onto the grass. But anyway...

The sun had just set and it was cold so we didn't go on our "long walk" which includes a stop at the School playground for some swinging on the swings. Although it's much different now, that same playground is where I learned and perfected my "Jacks" skills when I was seven years old.
We went on the "short walk" otherwise known as the "winter walk - as soon as you shit we're going back home, sucker."
Along the way I noticed how wonderful the air smells, and I went over to this tree, stood under it and looked straight up.
It's like fireworks and pumpkin pie.
The next 15 minutes of the walk was good except when mutch finally did poop things took a slight turn for the grody. It smelled SO. BAD. Every once in a while he shits some nasty smelling turds, that leave me gagging like a choking victim on the side of the road- even in the wide open OUTSIDE. So, alright. I'm already sick as can be and now, I'm so totally going to puke all over the railroad tracks. Then I stepped on a dead Squirrel. It MUSHED. I started swearing aloud.

I was totally walking towards home because I couldn't stomach any more jankhity shenanigans with poop or rotting carcases that oozed intestines. I already have bronchitis and it's COLD out.

As I walked up to my front porch to grab that paper that I wish they'd stop leaving me, "what's this?" MORE OOZING INTESTINES. The cat which-attacks-dogs has brought me a nice hollowed out mouse.
Fresh feline restitution.

So I guess I'm going to HAVE to pick up the already dead chimpmunk that has been rotting behind the flower pot on the porch for the last 5 days?? gag. All this and I haven't even got the chance to get the squirrel bile off of my shoe. (commense caughing fit)
That was tough. I usually pick up dead presents by the tail...I tried to pick the chimpmunk up by the tail, but the fur just kept coming out and I couldn't get a grip on it. So I used the newspaper.

Dug the hole. Usual spot. To this date, there are: well, let me just graphically design it for you.
about all those in the area between my house and my neighbor's house. just as I was going to dump them in the hole and cover it, Toots came over to supervise. good kitty. bad timing.

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