Mood: totally bitchin.

I listened to Dave Navarro's show tonight. And I also joined the live message boards. It was so totally like hanging out with my friends- every topic took a giant nosedive into the land of ridiculous inappropriateness. I learned there's a video of a lady having massive slukkies in a hot tub, saw some interesting pics of DN that even I could never find on the internet, learned that Dave thinks his therapist wants to pork him and got to hear Sandra Bernhard's new song. All while working.

$miler'$ Antiques

On the way home from Orlando Bosley usually cuts the drive a bit by stopping at some random place to browse or eat. Hilarity usually insues.
I spilled a gigantic coffee (on the save) all over the counter at Dunkin Donuts. She insisted that they had NO towels. Bosley and I are grabbing napkins out of the dispenser like mad...until I pop the whole thing open and grab handfulls of paper napkins to clean up the tidal wave of iced coffee. She stood there and watched. Bosley was apologetic I was about to write an email to DD telling them to get some ding dang rags. We both thought we were being punkd'. We stopped at this place to eat once just ordered like, 20 tiny yukky burgers and the power went out. They gave us 15 half cooked tiny yukky burgers and wouldn't let us leave. Bosley grabs Moby's latest cd and makes us listen to it in the van. No, no that's not hilarious at all.

so on our way home this time we're given the option to stop at this "really cool" antique store.
"Hell yah!" I said as Cath follows it up with "owwhhallriggght."

As we pulled in I was a little apprehensive I have to admit. I've seen set ups like this before...I didn't make it five steps into the door and I was fixed upon a vintage ring. It was the prettiest square cut gemstone set in this fabulous art deco style. I knew that I didn't have any money to spend on that kind of thing so I didn't even check how much it cost. I tore myself away and took a look around.


uhmmm okaaaayyy.

I started down the first aisle looking at prices of things that caught my eye.
Yah, it's one of "those" places. Tourist attraction vintage market. Booths rented out by "dealers" that aren't anywhere around. Prices so stinking high I'm not sure if anyone with a space was doing much $miling. They certainly weren't doing much money counting. Or booth re-stocking.

I take this as a personal challenge. I'm determined to find that one little thing that is priced (really) low and has style. It's the Scorpio/Virgo/Artist in me. I can't help it.
And that is just what I did. More like that's what I thought I did, until I flipped my find around to see the ridiculous price affixed to the side. DAM. I wanted it so badly and I was convinced the price was under $10! I had to alert Cathy!
I took my find over to her as she was looking at a full color,life size stand-up cutout of Peppermint Patty. Cut out of plywood.
I showed her my find and the price tag.
She showed me her find and the price tag on it.
We looked at each other. Crookedly. "That thing is cut out of PLYWOOD not Granite right?" I said.
She had me take a pic of her with it.

I continued on my way with my find in tow and spotted this:

I HAVE to have this. At least in my imagination."How much?" I asked to woman that was following me around. She had to go call the vendor. I don't know why I made her do that. Maybe it was unconsciously to get her off my tail because I wasn't ever going to pay $375 for a stuffed rattle snake with a bunk rattler.

then I see this:

ItwouldbesoperfectinDS'shouse! But it wont. It will be perfect there. On that pegboard wall. Until the end of time with a price tag like that. I swear that I could go hunt my own for less. Who ELSE would want this??

I was so fired up for no real reason and so I took my find to the counter.
"I'll pay eight bucks for this."
"She won't take eight dollars for that." the lady immediately said.
I set my find on the counter and politely said "Then I don't want it." and went outside to get my phone. I was kinda upset.

Cathy was sitting on the bench and told me that she just saw a lady walk outside and say to the man she was with "It's a bunch of overpriced JUNK!"
So, not just MY experince? I'm just sayin.

DAMDAMDAM!my find was so awesome! But I wouldn't even pay that much if I had some fun money to get rid of! I was pissed and beginning not to like this place. I sure wasn't $miling as I walked back in to find Bosley. I turned the corner and was faced with a wall of these:

EEeeeeeeeeeeeKKKkkkkk!!!

okay. I'm officially delivering the inevitable to Bosley. We're ready to go. I'm not sure if I will be able to sleep for months now after seeing that.

I found him knee deep in pristine Vintage Christmas records, and excited about it so I told him of my find let down and HEY! LOOK AT THIS RATTLESNAKE!! I really couldn't spoil his moment all too much. He gave himself ten more minutes. I agreed. Went back outside to talked with Cathy for a few minutes and realized that I didn't get a picture of my great find.

I went into the store again.
As I walked in, the woman was wrapping up my find and handing it to Bosley along with all 50 of his Christmas records.
I took it away from her, looked at Bosley, gave it back to her and said "No. no. Return this please." He was laughing at me as the woman and I played a little round of push and push back with the package.
"Bosley, that's way too much for that! REALLY! THANK YOU! But PLEASE RETURN IT. return it?"
So he bought it for me. He told me thanks for being a part of the team.
I had a little bit of a hard time accepting it. I mean really, it wasn't a ton of money but still. "HOLY SHIT!THANK YOU BOSLEY! THANK YOU THANK YOU!"
So the third time I walked out of there I was indeed, $miling.

what is this very fantastic find?...


COOL HUH?!


hehe! it's GIANT! I LOVE IT!

Highlights of my latest trip to Epcot

1. 11 hours of meetings (let's just get that out of the way.)


2. Seeing this and thinking about it rolling away AGAIN. Want to make my experience magical? let that thing roll around the park a'la "The Prisoner!"


3. Cathy being coy about the fancy spaceship Robert rented for us.


4. The Tequila Bar in Mexico. Could only get better with some of that other stuff you can readily get in Mexico.


5. Soarin'. Five times in a row. My feet off the ground. Soarin'. And the Tequila Bar. And Cathy ordering a pitcher of Sangria at dinner.

I'm so lucky to work with the people that I do. It's always a great time as well as productive. I love the career experiences and getting to hang out with my coworkers. The time I spend laughing with them is invaluable to me.

Slub Stuff...

COOL STUFF HERE


Meringue Rings

Little USB STICKS. howcoolisthat?!


Bottlecap Tripop


Typography Soap

A real page turner.

At this point in my life there are doors opening for me everywhere I turn. It's one of those "Create Your Own Adventure" books that were so popular in grade school. "If you take the option to walk through that door turn to pg.37, if you are too afraid to step through door number 2 then turn to pg 76..."

You know what I would do when I read those books? Straight to page 37 and then immediately to page 76. I would flip to every available outcome and then read the one that I selected as most exciting. Kind of ironic now that I look at my life. I do this all the time. I'll ask twelve different people their opinions on something and then select my personal preference. Hey, it's my right I suppose, and everyone has different knowledge and a particular way of delivering it. It helps me decide. Because I'm a bit indecisive. And a bit spontaneous.

I'm sort of doing that now but what is different here is that I know it doesn't matter what any person advises me of. It's all very positive coming from people that know me well, but I know that this is one story line that can only be continued by my sorting out the big mix up of logical and emotional thoughts and feelings. We all come to times in our lives that we know for a fact that everything will change drastically with one move. I'm ready for a new life right about now, but I'm not saying that I don't briefly turn into a Xanadu medical experiment.



In my utopian little dreams I have always seen it...
...My man, handsome and sexy he keeps secrets and snuggles with me at night. I never have to worry about him getting too drunk or too fucked up to make it home. He says "I love coming home to you" as he walks through the door. An organic vegetable garden. Black-eyed-susans, Daisey's, Poppies and Sunflowers. I see bonfires and enough space for a last minute camping adventures. Farm fresh eggs and sunset rides on bikes or the four wheeler. Neighbors that like each other and have campfire potluck dinners on the weekends. And Jose Cuervo. My horse, right down the street. Mutchie running and playing with all the other dogs. And as much as I hate to admit it- seasons.

I think that perhaps with all the frustration of being alone I had forgotten about my dreams. The "home" part of them at least. I guess that I kind of lost touch with the fact that this could even exist. It to me, was just way to much to ask. A good man was plenty, even if he took residence in a shack. Surrounded by a swamp.

What lies in front of me looks indeed to be the manifestation of my dreams, and it's no swamp shack. I want nothing more to be in that life. As long as I have breath left on this earth I can appreciate all the things he has achieved, all that he stands for (well, mostly all) and everything that he wants to share with me. I can be his woman. I'm ready. I guess the Universe thinks that I have learned all the lessons I need to in order to share my life with him. I'm happy.

But there is no flipping through the pages to see the outcome. However much I feel that everything is as its supposed to be I have to work through my fears. I don't want him to think I'm trying to sabotage anything by my fearful thoughts or jokes about premoveital agreements. I want this, I am sure of that. But my truth is, that I would be leaving my decent little life by the beach to drop in on the establishment in a state that has made some suggest "rebound?!". That is scary to me. It's like telling me "you get to be Britney's backup dancer for this tour. You have to do it naked."

Day to day minute to minute I can't wait to be with him. how do I know? because he exceeds my expectations. He believes. He will pay the bills on time. He gets cranky if he hasn't had time with his favorite hobby, or me. He's reasonable and very cheeky. He's just like me but exactly opposite. My thoughts of us developing our daily routine together is all the motivation I need to stop thinking about the "what if's". I'm here, at the jump off feeling vulnerable I don't think I've ever been in love till now. Because the point is, that I don't really care if all that stuff is his. As long as his heart is mine.

However, I am here to say. If he thinks I will do all the laundry, he's very barmy.

Crossing swords since 1994.

Canfield Fair. So glad the Dutchess and Jim like the vegetables too!

Dusty is fancy. Dusty makes me fancy.

this here.

I can't love you with your eyes wide shut.

I keep trying to place myself in a hypothetical situation whereas:

I very recently met someone that I connect with in magical ways. I look very forward to spending time with this person. When we are together the rest of the world comes to a whoa. My feelings are returned with a grown up sense of understanding and appreciation. And caring. We are confidant and excited for our future of growing together. My house is a home with this person.
But.
There is something taking my emotional state to ragged. I am ready to finalize the divorce. But this person, the one that I fell in love with not all that long ago is looking for redemption. Very last minute ditch efforts to convince me to reconsider. Remember that our love is stronger than this? Begging and pleading for another chance to give me all of the things that they had promised me on that day.

My conscience simply cannot allow me to be numb to this. I have deep emotional strings of loyalty and here is this person that I fell in love with at their utmost vulnerable state. While I listen to him turn the pages of the chapters numb feelings feed my brain the sadness I have for being the enigma of his brokenness. It makes me introspect with the knowledge that I have on the other side that in which I never felt they could give me in the first place. A slight escape from the confrontation.
As I tell him that I don't love him anymore my heart breaks with a certain sadness.

In an effort to understand your energy my guileless thoughts have no trouble jumping into that persona. I gather memories from one of my own past lives. Sure, it wasn't a marriage. But it was. I'm not one to believe that it takes a piece of paper. My thoughts are returned with compassion while knowing that we have all been there. We have all fallen out of love and we have all begged for forgiveness at some point in our lives. In some cases human nature leads to aggressiveness if we learn there are doors opening on the other side.

Your words are so sweetly reassuring. The only threat I sense comes from my own yearning to ease you. I can see through the looking glass and I respect that this may not be my place right now.
I don't know that I want it to be my place.
But still, your humanity makes me want to reach inside of you and hold with tender hands as I hear the maze of your voice. I am being careful to manage the state of your being because I respect you. I care about you.
I can't help but to want to give you any such space you need at this time. I suspect that you need this time to be in your cave. So please take it if you need it. Take it now before my own compassion dwindles into intolerance. I can't love you with your eyes wide shut.
The adoration that I feel for you has grown as I witness your empathy. The way in which you have handled yourself at such a weird time is as much of the extreme gentleman as it is sexy. Thank you for giving me the confidence of knowing you stand steadfast that I am indeed your desire.
It is all I need
to do what I do.

What phishs around comes around

Phish at Alpine Valley 6/21/09
Originally uploaded by phishfromtheroad

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Pick Your Artist: Phish.

Are you a boy or a girl?
sample in a jar

Describe yourself:
Golgi Apparatus

How do you feel:
your hands and feet are mangoes But your gonna be a genius anyway.

Describe where you currently live:
Rift

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Wading in the velvet sea

Your favorite form of transportation:
Lawn Boy

Your best friend is:
Wilson...WIIIIIILLLLLLLLSSSSSSOOOOOON

What's the weather like:
Split open and melt

Favorite time of day:
farmhouse

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
Reba

What is life to you:
bathtub jin

Your relationships:
When you're there, I sleep lengthwise
And when you're gone
I sleep diagonal in my bed

Your fear:
chalk dust torture

What is the best advice you have to give:
punch you in the eye

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Suzy Greenberg. Marco Esquandolaz.

My soul's present condition:
Bouncing Around the Room

My motto:
you enjoy myself

and then I fell out of my chair.

"This influence can introduce much pleasantness into your life through good times, agreeable relationships, sexual attraction and friendship. The problems that you will confront during this time are: overindulgence, lack of self-discipline, and unwillingness to work. This influence does not fit you for demanding work or trying situations, for you are likely to be lazy and unwilling to rouse yourself. If you don't have to accomplish anything, there is nothing wrong with this mood. In fact it is a good time to take it easy. But be careful not to overindulge in food or drink; today's good feelings may be tomorrow's headache! Your creative energies are stimulated, but you may lack the creative self-discipline that can turn a random outpouring of feelings into an artistic medium and disciplined art."

astro.com. GO. Know the EXACT minute you were born please.

stumbled upon me, as I did upon it

I know marketing well. I, myself market. I hold pride sometimes in my outstanding knowledge of the game. Its very hard to sell me with your broad impersonalized target techniques. It is an easy walk by and I fundamentally pay no attention to any corporations generalizations.

Not long ago a good deal approach me in the most creative of ways. In a social networking setting, I looked at the advertisements. I was monetary lured when I realized that over the years of the product's up and down market values and repeated loss of investors, the genuine value of said product had not changed in many years. Not in face value at least. 

I'm not really sure how I can go and make a statement like that because I haven't even set my eyes on the actual investment. But what I can tell you is that the direct marketing tactics that are being displayed by the franchise after they grew witness to my inquiries are mucho outstanding. So outstanding in fact, that I am allllmost willing to purchase sight unseen. 

This franchise is only working with the very best of copywriters, brainiacs and satirical humorists. Also he has looked into re-viving attention grabbing sales techniques that have been long since forgotten. The personal approach. That's what will make me pull. Thank you!

I'm inquisitive mostly. Doubtful hardly. I will watch silently by, for moments unlearned. I will take every emotional selling point in consideration. In my own time. I will notice the jealously I feel when others talk of the franchise before I get to view let alone commit to anything. Your adaptable proficiency will and should make me this way. 

Usually if the investment seems too good to be true- what is it? I'm not going to go on and focus on what "might" happen or what "could" happen because well, my gut tells me not to think that way in this case. Perhaps it was just that the failed investors weren't meant to be part of that universal deal in the first place? 

But. I mean, the nest is all I've got. How will I know exactly when to sign on the line? Without questions? Without fears of losing everything that I've built without assisted incentives of emotional and physical profits?  I've made investments before. None up to now have been successful. Most just ran their course of years. A few I pulled out of immediently. A few I lingered a little longer than my money was worth. But either way I'm sick of it. I want to make an investment in something real, that will be appreciating every living breathing day. 

I'm wondering if such has just stumbled upon me, as I did upon it.

an afternoon exchange

With one of my best friends. On ze Facebook.

Leggs: " ...is blah blah tunnel n light n stuff!"

me "your right sister! I'm crackin up"

L "What came first the light or the tunnel?"

m "the accident inside."

L "Lol. Anywho back to that tunnel...."

m "no use. you wont get to that point. too much romantics variables involved. that's a GOOD thing."

m "and you know your kind of "romantics" of course."

L "U make me lose my s***"

m "now you have me laughing really hard. you choose to edit your words on FACEBOOK?! ilu."

L "I have students..... And I'm mature!!"

m "we need to call it a day right here. I just hit a STOP SIGN. wheew."

L "Never dood. I don't have a stop sogn remember?"

m "good thing I got a few here and there. randomly."

L "Oh yeah! Your the best! Lmfao...."

m "your students know what that means."

L "No way dood"

Its all about the volley with a good friend. Happy.

a few tracks later

Ben Harper is singing about how it wouldn't have worked out anyway. And that for now its just another lonely day. So then a few tracks later he's telling everyone he's gonna burn one down. I got it.

Reloaded.

I finally went to the grocery store. This is a very good thing. So good in fact that I had to post it.

I'm NOT one of those people...

that BRAKES on a highway "on" ramp.

It's like a dam runway people. GET. OFF. THE. BRAKES. (!)

delicious hair.

From Episode 11 "Whatever Happens, Happens."

I like Kate.
I love Evangeline Lilly's hair in this episode.

aghhh! what's in the BOx?

So, I go out to get my mail today and there is a package at my front door. I wondered for a second if I really ordered that bridle I was looking at online the other night. Walked over, picked it up.
Hm. It's from Amazon. Hmmmm. It's actually addressed to "16", and I am "18".
First gut instinct says: "oh, I'll just take it up to 16 and drop it off."
I shook the box.
HHHHmmMMMM...
Amazon
sells
EVERYTHING.
HMMMmm.
Owh Hell.
I open the cardboard shoe size box.

Inside I see a Nikon Cool pix camera and a small book titled "If the Buddah Dated: A handbook for finding Love on a spiritual Path"

I am DYYYYYYYYING for a little point and shoot camera. I look for them on ebay all the time.
Nikon is my camera of choice.
and if you know me well, the book is quite appropriate. LOL.

I'm standing there staring at the highly desired items in this box- FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!

I am an honest person, and whenever these kinds of "tests" are presented to me I will choose good karma and be honest. It's a scorpio thing. It usually gets me in trouble, or in debt, or nothing at all except the knowledge that I am living my life to my standards of being a nice human.

But. I will stir over it. For a moment.

the story of the story of the story of bad mouse karma

I couldn't believe that the sign said " ALL THE TAFFY YOU CAN FIT IN THIS BAG FOR $1.50"
The sweet smells that are piped into the crowd get me everytime.
So heck, I went in the largest candy store on Main Steet.
Stuffed that little bag so full I would have enough taffy until at least September!

Later, while standing in line for Soarin' I plopped the seventeenth piece of taffy into my mouth.
It was kinda crunchy (?)
I don't know I just thought that maybe it was the little dried crunchy ends of the taffy...
...and then it all hit me.
The tootsie roll pop incident in high school!The dive into the pool! The walking into the door!
MY tongue felt my front teeth.
Yup.
I just crunched the bonding of my tooth.
I spit the whole glob of taffy out into the paper wrapper.

Teah was on the phone with her boyfriend and looked at me wondering what the hell I was doing.
I'm rapidly pointing at my mouth, she's got a puzzled look on her face and says "what???"
more rapid pointing.
"WHAAAAAAAAt???" she says again.
How could she not notice? It feels like half my tooth is gone!!! I'm not taking "WHAT" for a reaction.
"doode, MY TOOTH. LOOK AT MY TOOTH!!!!!!"
"owh. it's not that bad." and she continues talking to her boyfriend.

I was crushed. I was going to South Beach the NEXT DAY.
I'm not a very vain person, but for god's sake I'm basically average in every physical and cleavage-ical way and my smile- I need that!

I thought about it later.
I just wondered if it was the mouse's way of dishing me some bad karma back because I kinda dropped the f-bomb in the middle of the light parade (you know, the one with all the CHILDREN watching?) with enthusiasm to say the least. My friend instantly scolded me which was very bona fide because I mean, you know-
in the crowd of 10,000 children you could have heard a pin drop.

DO you know that they block off ALL of main street a good 45 mins before the parade even starts? Nope, can't even run-like-the-wind across.
And obviously, can't cuss about it either.