Monday, May 01, 2006

Small doggy door. Big dog. Fitting shit into a bag.

all three
This is a photo of the three dogs that hang out at my family's business. (l-r) They are: Pico- a Bishon Frise that is actually owned by my youngest brother Steve. Pico is a circus attraction, by the way he likes to lift his leg I'm sure he'd be great at lifting both of them for money on top of a big ball with lights. And glitter. I can't even say how annoying and adorable he is at the same time- but he came from a pet store that should say enough.

In the middle is Abbie, my mom's dog. She's a sweetheart and will bring an abrubt end to any offset of attention in Pico's direction by clenching the back of his neck in her teeth. When the two of them get going, it's just a big white blur. It's the equivalent of the blur you see when the Tazmanian Devil rolls across the television screen, Only white with scwehching barkings. They like to show it to everyone, right as soon as you enter a room. They're mad, rebellious, and getting horney.

The dog on the right is my other FRAaaaaaaNK's dog. Orion. For the most part he's totally cool and laid back just like my brother. The largest Chow-Chow you'll probably ever see. He knows it too. He chased four Arabians around a pasture until he had them cornered, they were rearing and bucking all up in his grill and he DODGED every hoof. He had them so worked up they broke through the fence and hauled ass down the country street (at least the fence would get fixed right away). I personally saw him pull himself into a car with it's window rolled down 1/4 of the way to get at a Dalmation. He's "dog amazing" when he want to be and today isn't the day.

There's a doggy door in between the desks at the office. You can see that Abbie fits through it lickity split.
See how small it is? Not as small as the door Alice had to squeeze into, but smaller than Orion...
orion being persuaded to go through
I tried everything I could think of to get him to go through that door. I threw treats out there. He just looked at me. I had the other dogs go out. He just looked at me. I swear that this dog will go through that door. He does it. He knows I want to blog it. Just as I started to give up, I heard my brother come into the office. SWEET, this is like trump card. I ran around the corner "Frankie! will you go outside and call Orion?!!"
"Whaaa? for what?" he said
"Because I have to get this. I have to let the people know that theoretically, you can fit 13 pounds of shit into a 6 pound bag. And I want to do it by showing that Orion GOES THROUGH that door."
"Oh man, he's old and you're crazy. Don't make him go through that door."

After a brief bargining session Frankie headed outside to call his loyal dog through. That. Door.
I was getting my camera ready and my heart was beating like crazy "I am so getting this." I thought...
He called for the dog a few times. "c'mon orion. come." like: "yeah, I'm ready for my catheterization." Then his voice stopped and he appeared around the corner. He came in looked at Orion and walked away- this is what Orion did
orion's ass
He turned around and said SUCK IT. Of course, my only reply was: "yeah, well go shave your ass."
So maybe the universe is telling me that you can't fit all that shit into a bag. It only goes in there when it feels like it.

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