I'm kind of a geek. My geekery doesn't go really far. I know that my computer is a Mac Pro Quad-Core 2.8GHz, and I know what that means. I know a little about Tengwar and Hobbits and even a teeny-bit about Steam Punks. My friends might disagree and say I'm a total geek. But they have never been to a "Con".
"Cons" were something that I had no idea about until I got the chance to go with the workies. The big workie is a huge fan of comics Illustrated Novels, hey that's cool and anyway, there are a lot of artists and stars there showcasing and promoting their work. I have to say, Orlando's Con had more enthusiastic cosplayers (people that dress up as their favorite video game/ comic) than the "Sturgis" of these events last year in San Diego, the ComicCon. ComicCon was a bit more serious, energy wise. Orlando was FUN! and there was a huge variety of self expression.
So, for the 2 out of 2.5 people that read this blog I will tell you the way it goes at a con. This would be a great time to contrast and compare to a Phish show, but I'm not really into it right now.
- kids parade around in costume. You want to impress them? ask them for a photo.
- adults walk around in costumes. You have no idea wtf it is. You say "hey! who are you COSPLAYING?" (that word makes them at least think you know something about this stuff) and they will gladly tell you which character they are, from idea conception to present day.
- walk around look at things to purchase. Such as...
-a GIANT! knife that weighs fifty pounds.
Kitty Cat collars with big bells, and studs!
Kitty Cat collars with bells, studs and a LEASH! (Cathy loves it when I make her demonstrate for me)
So we walk, and we look at things that we have no idea what the use is for, which is quite interesting because the stuff is FUN! and its annoying not to be able to say "Yes, I shall need a pair of kitty cat ears to complete my Puffinslayer costume from the Avenging Feral Felines series, yes, yes, the 1996 verion! Your favorite also?!" Instead of "OK SO what's with the EARS!?!" to the salesperson.
My Puffin$layer costume is COMPLETE!
- Now it's time to go out and get some fresh air. Make your way out of the "floor" area and into the hallway headed for the nearest exit and you will see something rather interesting going on. Groups of kids posing for a group action shots, and people throwing candy. Yes, you are to throw candy at the cosplayers if they "perform" for you. They really like "smarties" (HAHA)
- Outside now, have a seat on the bench and watch the people from the Race car convention walking by the cosplayers from the comic convention.
- Talk about when, where to go eat, and how that time is getting close. Not yet, but close.
- Decide that there is just way to much fun waiting and head back onto the floor. Pass the vintage Eastern weaponry and the whole Star Wars fleet made from recycled computer motherboards without stopping, I dare you.
- Be careful not to trip over the 15th group of 25 kids in a circle playing some random game you have no idea what it is, with its trinkets and accoutrements.
- Try on more ears.
- Head to "Artist's Row" where you can say to yourself elevenhundredety times "I REALLY can't draw" as you walk by the very talented inkers, and colorers, and sculpters, and geekers (ha!) you'll see all elevenhundredety of their sketchbooks sitting on the table beside them as they work...
...The only thing that makes this bearable is my totally tainted sense of humor in which I imagine myself dressed up like "The Inker" and spray ink all over the tables of art way better than mine, stand up on the table, laugh like a villan and say "Who's the villan now?! huh? huh?" while looking in the mirror fixing my hair. I would jump down loudly and run out with my cape flowing in my path, but then others would be throwing smarties at me and I would loose traction on them, slip and slide across the floor and bust my caped ass in front of the cool kids. And then for the FIRST time in my life I would be able to say "Dissappearing Ink!! it's probably faded by now AND I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!"
- Get your profile sketched by ONLY the most famous Playboy Cartoon Artist EVER on the front page of his book while he cracks you up with his friendly-ness and keeps telling you to "look at that window" as he sketches.
Mr. Doug Sneyd and I. Can you see the sketch? I LOVE IT!
DS " Christine, would you like bunny ears?"
ME: "YES! PLEASE! ABSOLUTELY! and BOOBS to go with them?!"
It was really nice to meet him and his wife. Very lovely people.
Big Workie is always running around like crazy at these things and if you want to see some good stuff, better try and follow him. He gets pictures signed by the actors to his daughters. This might sound cheesy, but Big Workie comes up with some pretty cool blurbs for them to write on that photo. For the Terminator girl, Kristanna Loken he had her write "To K,E: Don't let your dad terminate your boyfriends!" Cute.
He mentioned a Panel discussion. I swear he said "total nerd booooringness" but no! he said Billy D. Williams!
Colt 45...Works every time! (oh, and he was also in star wars)
-As geek burnout begins to set in stand in the hall and just ask people "comic book or video game?" as they walk by. Hope that you don't get spit all over when the giant cross comes up to you to tell you about that character, and wish so badly you can get in velvet ropes enclosing the REAL Flintstones car for a picture. There is just no way. Its being protected by the Ghostbusters!
Well, that's about all that's left to do for us. I think the others get together after the show and play card games & video games and stuff, but we went to see Alice in Wonderland at 3D IMAX (!) at at theatre where you can have a beer!
-On the way home stop at Adam's Rib in Gainesville, deal with all the orange and blue and get some of THIS!
Adam's Rib in Gainesville Fl. RIGHT ON. OMG the Greens!