Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Unfollow (I'm willing to miss the three times next month you actually get off your ass and exercise)

I just spent the last two hours up in a whole bunch of purses over on the FB. Great reference for fashion. After I looked at a few pages of pictures of people I don't even know I got bored. But I learned some things.

Yah, yah I see SR is rolling 465 hot chicks deep. Figures. Even though the bartenders give him rides home often (because he doesn't drive like that), the most handsome $ingle bachelor can always be found...have you ever seen the episode of South Park when Bebe gets boobs and all the boys turn into wild chimps? Exactly like that. Only the chimp-ie boys are very eligible bachelorettes.

Oh no! I see, (up in your purse) that one of my "friends" is no longer my friend! Hmmm. We were almost best friends in grade school! At least that's what I figured when you were one of four people that actually invited me to your slumber parties. Thank you for that. Thanks for tolerating me when I was the weird chubby one. I don't mind that you de-friended me. That little unicorn figurine you got me for my twelfth birthday that holds my memories of you will remain in my hope chest forever and ever. Unless you would like me to return it?

OMG! really? your friends with that girl that is married to that man that owns that place? That poor innocent girl that had no idea that her beloved spent a lot of time in the parking lot with that slutty blond. Everyone else did. I saw the pictures, the family has grown. I hope he's a changed man. Really I do. She was way to kind to end up with a cheating bastard. They can change I'm sure! I'm almost positive that my ex doesn't cheat on his new wifey (in their bed) like he did to me. How do I know he just got married? I was up in that purse too. He looks happy.

SHUT UP! I found you from this friend over here. It's the son of the woman that is the "main" woman in the life of a man with many many women. A man that told me countless times that he loved me. He's good at what he does. He could have given Tiger some pointers. He made me crazy. Crazy like, I FOUND all nine of the women, where they lived, what their phone numbers were, what car they drove and even that you and your mom are the only ones he takes around his family. I know, I know, I said crazy and I meant it. It was a rough time for me, I was pretty depressed and it gave me something to do until he showed back up at my house that evening, because it was me he was spending the night with all week. I just puked a little in my mouth reading what I just wrote. WHO DOES THAT? Your purse is quite interesting to say the least.

If anyone reading this post thinks for one second that I have way too much time on my hands and that I must be a very very sad individual- it's probably true however, I don't friend people that I didn't even speak to back then. At least I have that going for me.

 I guarantee you that at least half of your friend list is in my group. Really. I believe the FB exists for one main reason. Well, two. Ladies fashion and going in purses. I'm just not afraid to admit it. I'll write a thesis on it. It is what it is. For the most part my intentions are to see that people in all my many lives are happy and successful, but then the boredom sets in, and mouse clicks start happening...

Can someone PLEASE post the news that I guess I'm waiting to hear? And it's not when/what you eat, how often you work out, and how much money you spent today. Can someone maybe happen to find a dinosaur? PLEASE. Someone have SOME news worth reporting. SOMEBODY PLEASE discover the secret to the acient Mayas or SOMETHING! I mean, really. out of alll those people, no one wins the lottery??

I guess its human nature to want to voyeur on other people's lives. And from this post you can gather that I am no different. With that said I am going to seriously TRY and curb my addiction to the FB.
I hear that they will start charging for use pretty soon.

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