MySpace- BAH.

I have a few ideas for posts and stupid "my space" is hogging up my blog time. I'll try and do them tomorrow. Please check back soon!

wow. I just read a comment left on one of my posts that I never seen before.

"Anonymous said...

wow, i designed those boots back in 1995...

i was just curious when the link on google said
"i have a pair of columbia boots that i love"...

cheers"

Pretty cool that the person that designed the greatest boots ever saw my post! HAH!

KINDERGARTEN manners.

Really. In all seriousness. IS THERE ANYTHING MORE DISGUSTING than someone that sneezes or coughs without covering their mouths??
well, here's your answer.

NO. THERE'S. NOT.

If you sneeze or cough around me and you spray your nasty germs anywhere near me I WILL address it immediently. I don't care WHO you are. That's really. fucking. grose. So don't look at ME like I'm the rude one when it happens.

I learned these manners in KINDERGARTEN!! why didn't you?

This woman obviously dropped all of her English AND Spelling classes during her whole school career in order to brake, trane, and go ridding.
Lovin it.

solutions?

I have read that last post a few times and it's helped me to organize, as well as come up with solutions.
• This is a hard one, but I am going to take off from the barn on Tues. & Thurs. Dusty will still get ridden five times a week. He's not going to die if I don't ride him everyday. Or if he doesn't see my face, Right?
-This will save me gas and time.


• I have GONE to the grocery store and the health food store and I now have food in my house (Including the most amazing peanut butter ever). And Dr. Bronner's Tea Tree soap for my face which is very important to me.


I will eat at home more often. And at lunch I can spin up to the grocery store and get something pre-made for under $5.
-This will save me money.

• I have decided to go into work earlier so that I can get out earlier.
-this will save my daylight time. And my bedtime. And my sanity down Scenic Hwy. (more like Scenic TWO LANE with construction) at 5 pm.

• I have paid everyone that wanted to chop my legs off at the knees. Except the school-loan ninjas. They get theirs once a month. Like Chinese water torture. Keeps 'em up on their skills.
-this will save me on anexiety.

• I have decided to stay living in my place until the lease is up, which is March. There is someone that I am counting on that can get a house with me. In an area that is best for my schedule. I asked Joe to pop me if I speak of moving again until March. It's official.
-this saves me about a little of EVERYthing.

I have done these things for a week now and already I'm feeling much more relaxed. More creative at work. The Monsoon Stereo in my new Jettie is a big help too. Nothing like BB & Lucille in Monsoon decibels, or Ween's Transdermal Celebration.

Here's where I get like I try an not get

"Those that live within their means have a serious lack of imagination." -Oscar Wilde

There's been a lot going on in my life in the past few months. I think that I pissed off a witch, or that the planet of everlasting discipline; Saturn has found a home in my sky, or that someone got a hold of one of my toe nail clippings, thus sewing a voo-doo doll in my honor.

I've begun to think that this life that I am living is not the path set forth for me. I'm not sure I'm living up to my destiny. I don't always make the most sagacious decisions. At the time I think I am, but if I would pay more attention to the little details I would be more likely to be prepared for situations that call for preparedness. Like making SURE that I had car insurance.

I've been a good person, spreading good karma and running down groups of teenagers to ask them if they just dropped this 60GB iPod that I just found in the sand instead of putting it straight into my pocket.

I just feel sometimes that I can't take care of EVERYthing. I really have compassion for the working single mother. I don't have enough time to EAT let alone pick up and feed kids. And it's hard being at work all day, holding a full time job and having to take care of my personal life. There is no tandem cooperation when your alone. There is no "can you run home and see if Mutch came back home yet?" when the dog takes off on a magnificent voyage as you're leaving for work. And there definitely is not any default have-to-sorta take me to work because my car is fucked. And I strongly stress that there is no food called Dinner, or Supper in the house.
What I eat for dinner at 10pm:
-egg noodles left over from making chicken soup a year ago.
-the last of the yummy frozen vegetables that I got when I actually went to the store.
-some season salt, kosher salt, pepper. Olive Oil.
and I might open that can of tomato paste that has been through two moves with me.
This will go on until one of my two ingredients are gone.

I know that I can just go to the grocery store. I do go. Sometimes. But I buy food and it ends up going bad. I take a pork chop out of the freezer and it sits in my refrigerator for days. Sometimes too many days to cook it safely.

I'm just SO ALL OVER THE PLACE. I failed to develop that part of my psyche or something. The question I ask myself when I get really introspect is about how I can break my intense desire to just. have. fun. I want to work, and I love working but I what I would rather be doing would not in the least give me enough money for all the things a single woman has to pay for. Shoes. Hair cuttings by a STYLIST not "Clips R Us". Paying the same fee for health coverage and trash pickup as a family of 5.

It doesn't matter that I only put my trash out twice a month. They're driving that truck down the street twice a week and that big claw will pick up the air if it has to. And a little interesting tid-bit about Pensacola...if you try and share the trash service with the tenant above you, -err, I mean if you try and conserve the city's budget by not making that huge truck waste it's gas stopping at your house eighteen times a month, you will get cited. From the city. CITED. The City of Pensacola will give you a ticket. Every single address has to have trash pickup. This pretty much confirms that I was most certainly born in the wrong generation because I think that you used to be able to put that shit out there and they just picked it up. Taxes Old School.

Some people might think that single people have it made. Sure, some do. The ones that were born with the ability to do math and become investment brokers. For those of us that were born with a very visual creative mind in this field, it's dam hard to make over a hundred thousand dollars a year. Even Fifty for the most part.

In my opinion with my freelance work the general public wants to see tangible goods being processed through calculators, shovels, and earth movers. Pulling creativity out of your head just isn't justifiable in a lot of cases. They don't want to PAY for the work...BECAUSE they think that I just press "enter" three times and a beautiful professional ad or design comes popping out of my computer. It's not so easy living comfortably as a single person in this United States of ours. I end up paying THE WHOLE amount for many of the SAME things that two incomes pay for. Thus, I work twice as hard.
I'm just sayin.
*I have to ask. Does it ever equal out in some way? I can't claim any dependants on my taxes and I pay the same taxes-right?)

Sometimes it can get a little hectic. I thank god for the people that ALWAYS catch me when I slip. The people that have (more than once) given me, in one lump sum the equalivent of a year's salary in Belarus. My parents.

I am lucky. Mildly spoiled. And totally horrible because I do think that I should be able to buy them vacations as presents by NOW.

But I kick ass too. I work hard and care about my work. I'm always with the goal of improving. Solution driven. I can only keep trying my best and overcome those obstacles in my mind that won't let me believe that I deserve to be a comfortable. Because in the infomercials say that all you have to do is BELIEVE you deserve it..OR con the trash people into thinking that only one person lives in your duplex.

Conversation with the Farrier

Walking over to my new car. "So you like it?" I said.
He's looking around at it...
"UM?! HELLOooo!ITHASHEATEDLEATHERSEATS!!"
"Yah, it's nice. But what the hell do you need heated seats for? You LIVE in FLORIDA.?" He looked confused.
"I grew up in OhhhHIO. It's all principle dood."

I lied. There is ONE more thing...

1. What time is it?
10:50pm

2. What's your full name
Slub Slubitaw

3. What are you most afraid of
That BIG hairy credit monster.

4. What is the most recent movie that you have seen on bootleg
On Bootleg? um. well. um. We won't talk about what's in my DVD player.

5. Place of birth
Youngstown, Ohio. I'm. SO. HOOOOD.

6. Favorite food
Shis-ka-bobs. Tacos.

7. What's your natural hair color
yukkie dull Brown

8. Ever been a Neat Freak
I'm kinda neat. Everyone I know is pretty neat.

9. Ever been skinny dipping
oh hell yah.

10. Love someone so much it made you cry
Yes. Especially when your looking down at his closed casket.

11. Been in a car accident?
yah! you should try it! It's a blast! Nothing like four months of hell and an airbag all up in yo grill. Like a bag of marbles.

12. Croutons or bacon bits?
Croutons rip up the inside of my mouth. Bacon bits just extra calories. Now, Blue Cheese is a whole other story.

13. Favorite day of the week
Friday

14. Favorite restaurant
The park bench over by the Bayou with takeout.

15. Favorite Flower
I like them ALL.

16. Favorite sport to watch
Football. Show Jumping.

17. Favorite drink
Margarita. Jack n COKE. Kinda a tie.

18. Favorite ice cream
ANY.

19. Warner Brothers/Disney
ick. Jim Jarmush, Coen Brothers.

20. Ever been on a ship
Dad's boat is kinda a ship. And my parents have three little ships, some call em Jet Skis's.

21. What color is your bedroom carpet
There is no carpeting.

22. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Once.

23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail
Deana (a friend from high-school) sent me this in my email.

24. What do you do when you are bored
I don't have time to be bored.

25. Bedtime
12-1am

26. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest
Britney.

27 Who will least likely respond
Paris.

28. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses
Amy Winehouse I guess. She needs something else to do besides cocaine (allegedly)


29.Favorite TV shows
LOST.

30. Last person you went to dinner with
Joe

31. Park or Zoo
I guess the park. I'd rather see animals running around free. Just not the snakes.

32. What are your favorite colors
Brown/Yellow. Not toghether.

33. How many tattoos do you have
NONE as of yet?

34. How many pets do you have
Three. A dog, a three legged siamese cat, and a Thoroughbred.

35.Which came first, the chicken or the egg
Oh really? well then what's the difference between an orange?

36.What do you want to do before you die?
Have gotten accomplished what I was sent here to do.

37.Have you ever been to Hawaii
No.

38.Have you been to countries outside the U.S.
No, except for Canada. But I got my passport ready just incase...

39.To how many people are you sending this e-mail?
None. I'm putting it on my blog.

Time this survey ended
11:12pm
Thank You.

the two things. the only two things

This little jettie is more than just a new car. It's a closing to a very impossible part of my life.

my NEW car!

This horse is more than just a horse. He's a best friend and he's my reality's outlet.


These two things are the only two things that I ever can remember wanting. It's tough. I work my ass off but I got them. Only one has heated seats, and radio controls on the steering wheel.

I am SO THANKFUL for MANY things in my life. Regretful for none.

DUSssss tiiiiiiiieeeeeee thethoroughBREd.

-Title is to be sung to the tune of "frosty the snowman".

Dusty has been doing this weird thing with his head. Twisting it almost all the way over to the outside while trotting. And he's not stopping. I couldn't tell what it was. His teeth are fine.
I realize that his back is sore, he's in essence just started lifting weights again.

Tonight I was a bit more assertive with him in the way I wanted him to move. I pretty much made him go into a frame- lift his back and use his skinny little ass. It's pretty aggressive riding in this stage of the game. I have to conceal/over-ride the fact that he is stronger than I. I will get more gentle with my hands as we go, as he "gives" more readily. One of my goals is to train him to have a soft mouth. I had to ask, "So I SHOULD be on his mouth like a school horse?"

He didn't twist his head one time, and every time he went "right" for me, he did one of those horsie PHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRFFFF things out of his nose. That means he's relaxing his back. It's a good response. He's not strong enough to hold it for long, but he's getting it.
WOOOHHOO.

I kinda think that I want to get certified in Equine Massage. I'm going to have one come out to work on Dusty because of his back, and the injury. Now I'm interested.

TWISTAAAAAH

I'm going home at Christmas and I'm going to ride this horse again. I kinda can't wait.
Now that I have been in training. HAH! I'm in training!

a google of typo's

I was just reading through some of my old posts and I'll admit there are more than a FEW should-be-capitalized-words, misuse of transitive verbs and mis-spellings. I was going to sign on and correct them, but like I said, there are so many that I just resolve to get over that. Reading incorrect grammar and spelling is as great as eating a soup sandwich. I'm sorry.

But I was cracking myself up. Because I'm so funny. Here's some stuff that made me laugh out loud, maybe you will too. This writing stuff is kinda fun sometimes.

"I said: 'look, man, whatever your selling, whoever you're kidnapping, I don't want any part of it. TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST."

"You all that live where there is no snow would be surprised how many things like, plant stands, chair backs, and windchimes come in handy as snow excavating tools!"

"Pico is a circus attraction, by the way he likes to lift his leg I'm sure he'd be great at lifting both of them for money on top of a big ball with lights"

"I am now an Equine Resident Sanitation Specialist (Specialist, instead of Technician)
OBJECTIVE: Achieve Body Enhancement Through Exertion At An Equine Residence."

Blue Angel Dressage Show

Gerard in his show clothes warming up Optimus, a jet black Gran Prix Dutch.


Joe and Sooner. This horse was considered dangerous before she rode him. Now he's being looked at by Gran Prix riders. He's like a BULL when you're standing next to him. He would love to jump OVER you.

Minuscule, compared to my trust in karma.

I am driving way to far everyday to get to where I need to go. My landlord told me during the whole bug incident "Christine, just go. You don't have to finish out your lease. Obviously you're not happy." So I have been wanting to move. And I've been looking. I'm trying to get within a 15-20 minute drive to work AND my horse. That's the objective. It's a very hard challenge. This place is totally great but a half hour drive to work in the morning. This place is really great, but a 15 minute drive on a highway that they are STILL working on from Ivan. They BLOCK OFF LANES in morning rush hour traffic. I SWEAR.

So I found this place. This house is four minutes away from work. And the bugs certainly wouldn't be able to get through that new-er "everything".

It was a room in a three bedroom house. Not a very big house. It came with a dog. A Lab. A beautiful young black lab. And two roommates. The guy who bought it (call him Shystie)split his four dogs up with the divorce and they all live in separate houses he buys and fills with college kids. Including his daughters. You might even say that Shystie buys houses for his daughters to live in with room ates while they're in school. His daughter is in school here, would not live here, but would be able to come and get the dog whenever she wanted. I suppose that would mean she hold a key?
OOooooHHhh kay.

I needed a place to work on my computer, so Shystie made this agreement with me. I would pay an extra $50 a month in order to be able to have this area of the living room (which would be like a dining area?) that I could "section off" and put my computer in. It would essentially be a cubicle in the corner of the living room. I was ok with that also. At first. Until I thought about the other half of the "deal"...

...I told him that I really didn't think it was fair of me to have to pay for EVERYONE'S Internet usage also. The Internet is like any other utility to me and to everyone I know. You can HAVE my water, shoot- I have Culligan but don't take my Internet PLEASE. It is not exclusive to me. It is something that is used pretty much equally among roommates. yah?

Shystie was previously in the restaurant industry and therefor unabidingly skilled in the art of passive aggressiveness. He played a game of used car salesman with me. Little does he know that the car salesmen all RUN into their offices when I walk through the door for the second time. He was offering me TWO deals that both ended up the same for HIM. He was just presenting them to me differently.

The other deal was that I would just pay and extra $100 a month and he would take care of the Internet service also.
um? yah. no.

Then he told a Marine that he could move in. Before I even met this Dude, this DUDE emptied his car out into the room already. And I already gave Shystie money.

Dude would "totally" order the Hockey package for direct TV, go buy a super wide screen plasma TV with surround sound and put speakers all over the room. The living room.
OOooooHHhh kay.
"four minutes away from work."

"My landlord won't let me out of my lease." I told him on the phone. So, WOW what a coincidence. I went to see him on my lunch later that afternoon.

"I'm sorry but I cannot move into this house when now my landlord is threatening me that I will be responsible for the rest of my lease. And even though she told me I can move, my name is on a paper that committed me until March. I would love to move in here (caughcaugh) but I can no way pay for two places at the same time."

He was sitting at his little wal-mart table looking at me. Telling me that's not true and she told me I could leave and etc.

"You're going to keep my money aren't you?" I asked him.
"YES." he said as he innocently glanced outside at his BMW minivan thing.

Then tears started boiling out of my eyes and I went on a mild to saucy emotional rampage about how I should just walk outside and write the first person I see a check for five-hundred dollars. Because HELL I've got MONEYTOSPEND!SHIT!SHIT!SHIT!I.CAN'T.MOVE.HERE.OR.I.WOULD.

oops.

So he's talking some major-chain-restaurant-manager bullshit to me and tells me that he will "pro rate" my money when someone rents the room.
I never signed a fucking lease or commitment. Just a money order for $450. I was waiting for my checks in the mail.

Shystie's ego had to make him say "I don't need your money."
"well then give it back because I SURE DO." I said.
He said "no" again.

I wrote him a letter telling him I wanted my money back and took it to him. I talked to two different lawyers and I could take him to small claims, but REALLY.
I sent him this email earlier. I'm so over it.

Hello Shystie,
I talked to two lawyers about this situation with you keeping or pro-rating my money. I have thought one last time about this.

I really feel that you should give me back that money. I'm not sure what you motivation really is about this whole thing, why you choose to act as such when, as you said yourself -you don't need it. I had anticipated you of different character.

I feel that it is now my responsibility to rent that room and I am way to busy for that. Taking the time and actions to really take this anywhere on my part seems minuscule compared to my trust in karma. I have learned a lesson. I personally wouldn't choose those actions, considering my situation. Perhaps I would be more compassionate about this. Maybe that's why I'm not rich.

If somebody rents that room tomorrow, next week or at the end of the month than I'm happy with getting some money back. If I get none I will still survive. If it will be it will be.

Unless you choose to be honest about if/when someone rents the room, than I promise you will not hear another thing from me about this situation.
I will call the lawyer in the morning and tell them that I sent you this email, and not to call you again. Sorry about the frustration.

That's it. Thank you. Good luck in your life.

how would that work?

what is Moveable Type? what exactly is the general idea? What if I wanted to put my blog on it's own site and had it managed by Movable Type software? How would that work?

And Happy Halloween too.

Happy Birthday to all the Scorpio's.

"We are not friends." Ok, if you say so.

"We are not friends. We are further from that than you know. You don't know how hard it is. I don't know where you get that (insert name of ex-husband's New Wife) is going to help me with shit-- because she doesn't --they don't. (Ex-husband) is not a father and (NW) isn't shit to (our son). I am done with people who think they have a clue about (EX-H), me or (my son) or anything to do with reality. My life sucks and (my son) wants his father. Can you fix that? I didn't think so. so stay out of what you think! -we are NOT friends."

I have a myspace account as well as this blog. A few days ago I got a message from one of my friends that was a little, to say the least, problematic. What you read above was the retort to my retort. You can read the exchange right here.

----------------- Original Message -sent to me out of thin air -----------------
From: (my used to be friend)
Date: Oct 13, 2007 3:07 AM


"I so wish we were still friends I'm so alone and everyone is on (EX-H'S)side you have no idea I'm crushed live my life I dare you actually I dare (EX-H) he's so great fuck him night"

----------------- My Retort -----------------
RE: No Subject
Body: (my used to be friend are you serious?! YOU're telling me that you see me as being on his SIDE? give me a break. it's not like that at all. I'm not chooosing sides. That's just it. I"m not choosing sides.

You are my friend. Your smile is so beautiful and I miss seeing it all the time. There are A LOT of times when I think about you and REALLY wish you were here.

I understand that it is hard for you. I do. I know a lot of single mothers that are always on the run for whatever. Be proud of yourself. You ARE Doing it. Sometimes it gets hard, it gets hard for me too. YOU have your son to come home to and to love. I have NOBODY.
I hate when you are feeling bad. I'm here for you (my used to be friend). you come down here and stay with me for a lil if you want.

I hung out with your son a little. What a little man he is. He's is totally awesome. You did that.
You're doing that.
tomorrow will be better.

have you stopped to ask yourself why you're so crushed? I thought that you made you mind up about your situation a long time ago?

Maybe it would be easier for you if you can get to the point that you can talk to (NW). she is going to have a part of raising your son and don't you think it would be better if she could call you and get advice on something or tell you something that he did rather than her asking someone else?

this is pre saturn stuff, (my used to be friend). It could be much easier for you emotionally if you get yourself over that hurdle. I'm not saying it'll be easy either. it will take some time.
There is someone out there for you. Must be destiny.

and one last thing.
that email was really rude.

I will not even go into detail about what led up to this point but just let me say that I HAD to post it up here. It was really no problem to delete her off my friends list. Or my life.

It really sucks when this happens. I've had to do it before. Its not to hard to read when someone is through with your friendship. I had a friend, a REALLY REALLY good friend that I loved dearly. After being involved in her life for many years I started to hear things like "OH GOD! I've been SOOOOO BUSSYYY!!! I've just been SOOO busy, I haven't had any time to call you."

Yah? Ok, that's ok, I understand.
But then, practically every time we talked some where in the conversation would be bits and pieces of "..so all the girls went to lunch.." or "...(blank) and I went shopping and then here, or here, or here." or "we had a big cookout at our house..." or "we all went to a show in Cleveland and and to dinner, IT WAS AWESOME!"... It was obvious that this person had TIME, just no time for ME. Not even a cup of coffee once a month. She just called to tell me how busy she was AND how they had such as blast going out the other night.

I tried. I was just asking for a little, to catch up and carry on. Even though I knew she was really busy, even though she was doing all of these fun things with my old friend from high school and her husband who was my (awful, horrible) ex-boyfriend, I didn't judge or let any jealously take the real reason I was upset. I was upset because I was being totally bamboozled by one of my best friends in the world. I was willing to MAKE the time. I was on the bottom of her "time for" list so I just let myself drop off of it all together.

It hurt, I wished that I had a boyfriend so that I could be included in her "couples only" new lifestyle. Then I just didn't even care. That's no excuse. I let go of it.

it had run its course. And so has this one.
I'm ok with that. I know who my friends are.

"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

just putting this here to save it.

I could be found hugging the trees outside one of the eighteen local condominium complexes going up and cursing george bush. my car is money/honey. I love love love horses and oysters. I believe in yoga, dressage and leroy's pork butt with leroy's hawd koa sauce. I take a liking to yellow & brown, but not together. and lastly, let's just say I have a "hard time" telling a lie. I dont kill bugs. ~well, ONLY those big ass "water bugs"...they don't make deals~

Ok, so I mentioned that I am unable to ride Dusty right now. I don't want to go a month without riding so I scheduled myself a lesson with the French Man...the whole time while tacking up, PRaying, HOPing that my lesson would be with his top trainer...It wasn't.

I rode a smaller horse that used to be owned by one of the advanced girls. When I asked what this mare was like they all said "she's fun!" I didn't know if that meant fun? like, "oh if you can stay on you'll be lucky, fun." or just "fun."

I made a breakthrough while riding, that's the exciting part.

I was riding this finished horse like it was a young horse, like I would ride Dusty. I needed to really USE that outside rein. I was opening it up thinking she would move into it. WRONG.
It took me about sixteen times around the arena cutting the corners to figure it out.

I think on the seventh cut corner the FM said:
"eeeeYYYYe EM NOT "ERe for ze' teacHINGZ of ZE stuDENtz in da SPECHeeeiiiL LEAhRN inGGGs."

It had gone just as I had anticipated. Fabulously. FM kicked my ass again. I scheduled another lesson for this week. Maybe two.

see a man about a horse

I haven't been able to ride Dusty because he, was run down by an Arabian. It was a definite sniper attack. Good boy Dusty (his name IS Dusty HALO) was just grazing and this crazy Arabian comes over to kick some ass.

Instead of kicking the shit out of "Sir Fox" and then running the other way, my horse ran into the fence. He stepped into the fence and wires broke. He then fell and rolled on top the wires and so his back looks like a bear scratched him.



He got a pretty good size cut on his leg and and was taken to the vet right away To get looked at. The vet stitched him up and he's doing great.



I'm taking care of the cuts and the super woman is taking care of the bandaging. She rules. She was wrapping his leg and i was looking really good. The vet (whom I respect greatly, and he's really cute) wrapped it on Friday and did something with a little shiny nail file looking thing so that now it's draining and all pussy and ICH. We're (she's) going to change the bandages twice a day now. I'm going to call and ask what the heck happened with that little shiny thing...


Dusty 10/11/07

The vet said that he looks like a different horse, since he saw him at my pre- purchase exam. He has gained weight and is looking really good. It's nice when a person that sees horses all long says "He's a keeper."

He made me do it.

It took the horse. It took me wanting and needing to go see my horse to cut the air bags out of the dash and the steering wheel of my car and DRIVE it to the barn. Wrecked. Hello? I have officially entered the horse-crazy-white-trash stage of my life. No, seriously. There is a flagpole in my front yard and everyone says "OH! is that the place with the rebel flag in front?". Its not there now but I'm here to tell you it was an omen. But I'm not worried, NOOOooooOOO, because my dad said it's "the best decision I've made in the last 6 months." (to just go ahead and drive it already)...


I cut the airbags out

I guess that means I have to drive it to work too- in morning rush hour traffic. Wrecked.
I have a court date so that I can go defend my traffic record honor. The cop wrote in the full report that I hit the girl in front of me first. She isn't saying that. Neither is anyone in my car. I'm probably going to get in some kind of trouble for the insurance issue, and something tells me it will be in the form of a large fine. In which I will choose be-heading.

The car that I was driving, the 1985 toyota celica? Well. It broke down. I was again without a car, my boss has been picking me up for work. Um, I need to re-phrase that. My boss has been going completely out of his way to pick me up for work in the morning, and drop me off after. Yes, I am very grateful. It's cool, he's got a jeep. It's funny to watch him wave to other jeep-ers. He reaaaally doesn't want to.

I've made some really great friends down here and that makes me happy. I've had so much FUN this summer.  Some of those nights I will never forget...

-Sitting at the car races eating fresh boiled peanuts as the dust flies everywhere, watching the same person win every week. That was alright though because that person is my friend's husband. 

I never did win a styro-foam plate full of shaved ice in half-time ticket call. I did sneak in a 20oz. of Heinekin once (it's a dry county) I mean c'mon. we ARE IN ALABAMA. AT the CAR RACES. I snuck it into a large fountain drink cup, the look on A's daughter's face when she took a sip was pretty funny.

-the night Bryon rolled up to me at the beach bar all sly, b'out 4'6 with his unbuttoned shirt like pimp Bart Simpson..."Hay Baby. My name's BRY-ON what's yours?" I had to get to the bottom of this, and I did.
This dude just decided to start spelling his name B R Y O N instead of Brian. Awh how cute.

- "splits" the gymnast. Splits's nickname was well deserved because he would at any time in the middle of the whole bar DO. A . SPLIT. I shit you not. Totally on the juice. His friend showed up out of nowhere, introduced himself, gave us girls his business card that said "something something USED CARS" and disappeared. I have a feeling he went straight to the *bathroom.

- The night dancing with "the puppy". There are other "puppies", but this is the Original. That was a great one. There were people just standing there watching as we jumped around to the bands rendition of Motley's Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls". They came up to us and told us "you guys are great!"when the band stopped - can you believe that?. What we were was happy, on the beach and drunk! The puppy likes Techno and he likes to dance. I LOVED it. It was sweaty, it was full of energy (and MARGARITAS!) and it was a FUN night.

-The night of  Leggs's birthday party...In the middle of the Violent Femmes song I  turned around to see her surrounded by more than a few suitors. All at the same time. Damn that white skirt..."oh, hey "bb", hey "pants", hey "green feeet" and HELLLLO sprt-zah.!" 

-So we went swimming in the hotel's pool after the bar closed. So we were laughing. Ok, so maybe I was the one giggling up a spell as the security guard came out and told us we had to leave. He said that he would have let us swim longer but they were getting calls. 
"So you have been watching us swim for the last hour?"

"Yep. There are security cameras all over the place."

"SHIT. If I'da known that we would have been getting naked, prolly could've swam for a little while more eh?"

"prolly."

I was getting a little worried at first, being down here alone and all but it's turned out great. I love my job and i'm having some fun too. I have friends that are there for me when I'm in need. And no matter how hot it gets, how tough it is, how long it's been since I had food, as wrecked as my car is, I would STILL not want to be in Ohio specifically Youngstown.

What the hell are we going to do in the winter? oh, and
I just got invited to join a Mardi-Gras crewe!

The thing that keeps me

Ok, it's been about a month. Look at how much better he looks!
the rice bran is working!

then


now
Its been about a month.
I think that when I start showing him his show name will be Dutiful Dusty Dancer. I like that.
He's eating treats now. The other day Ashley walked up to him with a carrot and he bit into it- he wanted nothing to do with carrots before. He likes Fla-va-Ice, and Gatoraid which is good because so do I.

I have been riding him mostly every day, a steady schedule of four to five times a week in a full cheek snaffle soon to be replaced by a eggbut snaffle. I rode him in a loose ring the other day and he was noticably softer in the mouth. I liked it. I'm just starting to put him into light "frame" to teach him that his ass has the power of a jet rocket. If he uses it while arching his back, thus making his front end light and elegant he will be very proud of himself, and very strong.

He is very willing under the saddle. He is immediately responsive to any aid applied, and tries to figure it out swiftly. He says no once and doesn't buck, kick out, or run away when he's corrected. I'm not riding with a whip and I don't plan to until he's starts more advanced training. He isn't crazy if he hasn't been ridden and he likes to work (one thing I am very cautious to sustain).

He's doing very well if you ask me. We ride in a beautiful OPEN field that I was VERY afraid of -and he's no threat. No threat to YOU-KNOW-WHAT...

The cabinet shop is behind the field and there are saws, air guns and compressors being used while we are riding. He's absolutely wonderful. Pretty non spook as far as I've know him. The horses are turned out in the pasture right next to us and he doesn't even mind. He just keeps his ears back and focused on me. He's teaching me that I can trust him.

I feel that I made a very good decision with this horse. Although he's 40 minutes away, he's helping me IMMENSELY. He's helping me live my life. He's a gentle soul, I feel that he is also learning to trust me. When I put him out into the pasture after riding I lead him in, turn him around to face me and I take off his halter. As of lately, he just stands there. Like he doesn't want me to leave. I think he likes me too. I am more attached to this horse than any that I've been attached to. We're getting along famously. The one thing that keeps me.

Summer sent me a link to this greeting card site today. I'm REALLY enjoying it!

hey i got your my space bulletin in my blog

1. How do you feel about the last person you kissed?
I feel like he's, um..I feel good about him?

2. What's bothering you right now?
whel. ha. Funny you should ask. Some high school girl crashed into the back of my jetta so that I could feel what it feels like to get an air bag in the face... and now it's sitting in my yard with the air bags hanging out like it's poor guts guts.



Seems as though it's better to KNOW that you have car insurance than to THINK you have car insurance. who'da thunk?


Look at how mad it is.

3. Does your mom go to college?
Not it there's not anything "drastically-marked-down" there.

4. What is in your wallet
a sticker that says "Never trust a preacher with a boner" I really like giggling at you when your offended by it. OH! and my Progressive CAR INSURANCE CARD.

5.Whats on the desktop of your background?


6. Background on your cell phone?
A picture of me and my friend joe. Doing what we do...


7. Next time you will kiss someone?
The next time someone wants to kiss me.

8. What reminds you of your ex?
lots of things.

9. What did you do today?
worked. Got car to drive from my boss(!), came home. Ordered a calzone from Ozone Pizza. Worked more.

10. Life:
Your hands and feet are mangoes, but your gonna be a genius anyway.

11. Where is your heart?
In the barn.

12. Doing this weekend?
working on my computer and hanging out with Dusty and my friends for a little.

13. Wearing?
Old School Geneva-on-the-Lake T-shirt blue, & stretchy shorts. Flip Flops.

14. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Thorndike

15. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
emmm ooohh eeennnn eeeee why. Lots of it.

16. Listening to?
Mutch farting.

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named Patty?
No, but I knocked a girl over named Ilean.

18. What do you smell like?
hopefully mangoes.

19. How are you different now compared to the past?
I strive to improve myself everyday. In every way.

20. On your bed, what is your favorite thing??
my puppy

21. Do you believe in a soul mate?
yes

22. What comes out of your mouth constantly?
"HEY SEXY!"

23. Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes. Especilly the one when I dream that I just killed someone and I'm running to find the mafia to get me out of it and get rid of the body. (You can take the girl out of Youngstown...)

24. Do you burn easily in the sun?
Nawh. Not really. I TAN



25. Have you ever been gambling?
Oh yah. The first time I played craps the dice went sailing down the hallway of the RIO casino in Vegas.

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?
How the hell the photos get from my cell phone to my computer in zero point three milli-seconds. Or how you can transfer large MB's of files on a wireless connection. Yes. That is it. That is the only thing that I wish I could understand better that actually has a logical, mathmatical answer

27. What did you do last weekend?
Went to the beach. Had Frozen Margaritas with an extra shot.

28. Who do you miss?
I might miss him but it's the best thing that could've happened.

29. Who is the last person you hugged?
Miss Joe

30. What do you like to do in clothes?
um well, I guess this is where the person making up the questions should've went to sleep a few hours ago? I can tell you what I don't like to do in clothes though. swim. In. that. beautiful. water.

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
This afternoon I went with my boss to get a car he's letting me use until I can get mine together. (THANK GOD) I got my FLORIDA LICENSE plates this morning! (haha, yah. Laugh. I pretty much play dumb when this comes up...I've heard you have 30 days to get new state plates when you move. Not to worry. This comes as "things to stay on-top of" learned in the all inclusive incident otherwise known as "THE SMELLY SMOKEY AIR BAG that knocked some sense into me."

32. What was the last text message you received?
"What up baby?"


33. Last time you ate a home grown tomato?
Last summer in Ohio.

34. What is one thing you like to do with your significant other?
Play Scrabble

37. Whose house did you go to last night?
Nobody's.

38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Technically Beckee. But I was there also.

39. Do you like someone right now?
I like just about everyone.

40. What do you wear more, slacks, jeans, or sweatpants?
Slacks.

41.What is the last movie you watched? With who?
"300" with Beckee and Melanie.

42. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
Jack and Coke
Frozen Margarita
French Martini

43. What are you excited about?
Training Dusty.

44. Do you want someone you can't have?
Sure, I do that.

45. Who was last to slap your butt?
Miss Joe

46. Where was the last place you went?
Ozone Pizza to get my calzone.

47. What's on your mind right now?
where I can get a Xanex.

48. Have you cried lately?
Well, to put it mildly. I have been tearing- at various time throughout the days for the past two weeks. I also have been having mild "attacks" when I see my Jetta sitting in the grass.

Hanging on to positivity and thinking of checking myself into a hospital somewhere until someone told me that it's much harder to get OUT once you get in...

49. If an unstoppable force comes across an unmovable object, then what happens?
Then it's smokey and it STINKS really bad. Face stings. Lip is fat. A few fingers feel like they're broken.
Then you start running across freeways and telling cops about the black cars that were there that left the scene (that were really blue and sitting there the whole time).

50. Is taking a shower a dai!y habit?
yeeeeeAAAAAhhh?

Here's the tooth that the vet took out of Dusty's mouth. It's not as big as you would think because it's a "Wolf Tooth" it sits right at the end of where the space is for the bit...it would rub on the metal of the bit if left in there.

a few shots out at the barn

Ashley's daughter Brystal. Careful. You WILL give her anything she wants.


Ashley told me that she used to sit out in the pasture on the rounds of hay and just watch the horses eat. She was taking photos. The baby Oz is wondering what's going on.

Mila is driving across the country! She's a writer, and she just got her blog going- please go check it out! It's a good time.

Riding, Lately.

There is always, like clockwork a moment in my lesson that I think "the French Man won't want to train me anymore after this ride." He spends an hour teaching me to PROPERLY ride a 20m circle. The man is a Professional. He ride the highest level of dressage that a person can ride and he teaching me to ride a CIRCLE. A Circle. And he is screaming at me, I guess because he is a professional that can ride the highest level of Dressage a person can ride and he's watching me ride and EGG.
I am so thankful that he still wants to train me to ride as a Professional does.

He says "Ze LaSt time I know of, ze circles in AmeriCa arr ze same as ze ciRCHLe in FRhaaanze. christine, your circle is looking like a EhggH." As I am attacking with the leg on ze inside and closing off the leg on ze outside, trying to shorten the draw reins, not drop the snaffle reins, hold the whip and all this while despertly seeking deepness in my seat and dying of heat stroke...but it's all good. I wouldn't want it any other way.


Lesson on Adedliade


Lesson on Cindy

I feel like I'm getting better. I feel like I am at least progressing.
I feel really excited to work at this because I just got this guy back and I'm going to teach him to do Dressage. After I get him some groceries of course.


Dusty Halo

beach parting!

Mel, Chrissy, me and Joe in front

Happy Birthday Joe!..she managed to put those sexy heels on and dance the whole night even though a horse fell on top of her earlier.

prolly a lil outta control

I just denied JESUS on a MySpace friend request. I hesitated, and I really didn't want to but I had to. I think he may be a spammer.

Mac Pro Quad Xenon 64 bit workstation (!!!!!!!!)

Oh myiiiieeeee god!



I NOW HAVE THIS AND THAT RIGHT HERE. IN MY HOUSE! I am very thankful and very pleased to say that I will now be able to "rip" my own work. My having this machine lets me build up a library of my own illustrations and graphics that I can piece together in designs. WITHOUT waiting for a measly THREE MINUTES for three seperate windows to open in Photoshop. Oh, How I will miss the way I can restart my G3 and go clean the house while waiting for it to re-start.

I LOVE my job. Really I do.

Here's Adeliade. She's WONDERFUL.

"eHt is EWH zat stOOps zee'orse from WOOK.inGah."

Tonight while riding, all at one time I got a huge cramp in my side, my mouth was like sand was in it, I couldn't breathe with the humidity, so I stopped trotting. The FrenchMan was telling me to "sit the trot". I was walking.

The FrenchMan is the owner of PRA. His accent is very thick, so much that a lady who worked for him thought that the name of the arena was "the carolina"- he was actually saying "the covered arena". It's so funny and true!

As I circled around to his chair in the arena entry he asked me "CRiidsstEEn why you go on da walk weHn I say go on sihhtg trOt?"
"I need a break." I said. (I can NOW go until the last ten minutes of his lessons without having to constantly re-organize and find my stirrups!) sometimes I just need to walk, damn, my legs are shaking- muscles are screamin here, FM....
"WHhhhaht do you say?" he replied.
So I said again, " I need a rest, I've got a cramp!"

"zaT is NoHt my PROB LEhmn." he said shaking his head at me and added "zee'orse is WOOK.inGah. eHt is EWH zat stOOps zee'orse from WOOK.inGah."

When he said that I just started laughing. Laughing because I was so excited to know at that second that he is going to push me. He's going to make me trot longer, work harder and motivate me. I thought, "He wants me to be a GREAT rider.EEE! a DRESSAGE rider!" then I almost cried.

Those things help me even when I'm on the ground or in my car, or at work. Years ago when I first rode with him, his attitude made me a wee bit frightened (sometimes). Now after all these years with time in the saddle I'm excited for it. I want to do Half Passes and Pirouettes and PASSAGE!! OMG PASSAGE! (it might look cheesy to you non-horse people but you have no idea what is going on there, it's MAGNIFICENT, trust me. Horses don't JUST SKIP ACROSS THE PASTURES)

After the lesson, he told me that it was a good lesson, and that I am on my way to truly becoming good for dressage. I do not lie. It made me a little worried about if what I was thinking was true...then he said that I should also be honored and privileged to use his saddle again. "whew." I cried a little and thanked him. "See ya on Saturday!"

I have so much respect for that guy. He's truly one of my heroes. He IS Dressage. I am honored to be training under him. He's even giving me private lessons, and whenever he answers his phone which is not too often it gives me time WALK a second at least.

*Dressage is the discipline of riding that is my passion. It is a very refined riding style supposed to look like dancing with your horse. It is very healthy for horses, a sort of yoga meditation exercise for them. It's very intense. I think it's kind of like Karate, you know how Karate is more of a "study" than a hobby?
Here, read it for yourself! shit, wikipedia crashes my browser. sorry.

Using cuss words the way they were meant to be used

I rode Adelaide tonight. She's a Thoroughbred mare at the PRA (the place in which I ride-, Gerard's place) that I have been lucky enough to take lessons on and so I wanted to write about my ride while it was still fresh in my mind.
That's why I
walked into my computer room to turn on my monitor and found ANOTHER cockroach. I then ran outside to get the DEMON. People, this is a sprint because in a blink of an eye these FUCKERRRRRRRS can run to South Africa and back.
"GRRHhhh!"

See, I found out last night when I went to spray the one on the living room wall that the DEMON was getting low, so I grabbed the spray too. This time I took the spray AND the DEMON as my weapons. I'm so sick of this I can't even tell you. I sprayed the shit out of my freshly painted wall with the nozzle spurting and burping from the small amount of liquid left then, as the botherment was running down the wall toward the floor I hit it with a few blasts of the spray...until...the spray wouldn't spray anymore. THERE'S STILL HALF A CAN LEFT AND NO SPRAY POWER! "That's alright" I thought, because I had already got this one good and I have three more applications of DEMON left. I'll just make some more....

So now, I'm still wanting to write about my great ride tonight but I'm derailed. I just wanted to turn on my computer and go pee, and now I'm mixing up another DEMON concoction in the twenty dollar sprayer to again arm the parameter of the house, inside and out. Immediately. Needless to say I'm a little agitated and using cuss words the way they were meant to be used.

I throw the self-dissolving packet of poison into the sprayer and fill it with water, screwed the cap on and shook.

"ok then. I'll just WAIT to write about my great ride on Adeliade."

I go to grab the twenty dollar sprayer to lift it out of the sink and THE. TOP. BROKE. OFF. Yep, I am now at this moment defenseless. No spray. No DEMON. Looking around this room every two seconds for a blur of brown scurrying through the light. Because now, with the state of things; that's what I do. I can't help it, they made me this way. I know, that they know, that I'm pretty much helpless. They're plotting to spend the night under a glass so that they can stare at me while I'm writing. Hah. They must be Catholic because guilt seems to be their only offense.

I questioned myself as if i should run to the other demon, WalFart and retrieve a sprayer and some new spray but those stinking cockroaches aren't going to make me go to WallFart. I mean, just how much of myself do I have to sacrifice for these jagoff bugs?

--I even hate spraying them. It kills me to see them turned over moments before their death legs all frailing and gasping for air. I have to leave the room when this is happening. REALLY. Now I know what my parents meant when they said "This hurts me as much as it hurts you." right before I got my ass beat. (**looking-around**).

I am the Commander Girl

Dear Mr. Periplaneta americana, aka: Cockroach, Water Bug, American Cockroach, Palmetto Bug.
I am writing you today in reference to your lack of obeying zones prohibited of your roaming of my quarters via our agreed contract.

I believe it was about three months ago that I spoke with your initial representative, I met him, one fine day while entering my bathroom. He commanded my attention with the swiftness of a Jedi master. His followers were not so lucky. I am enclosing these photos as proof of the anguish you have brought upon your kind.





I must commend you. You have trained your officers well. They are nearing the optimal size for bedroom seizure. I am aware of this.

You failed to abide by our initial verbal agreement to stay out of my habitat. The question is, who ought to make that decision? Me or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear -- I'm a commander girl. This means war.

Your soldiers are very dedicated and willing, knowing that by entering my territory, many times it leads to certain DEATH. I am sorry that I have to retort to such strong and harsh acts upon your kind. I must let you know however, that death by sprayed toxic poisons will continue. At least until you grow a softer epidermis so that your hard outer shell will not CRUNCH when death by shoe-sole is administered.

Your agile metamorphose is astounding. Although I am complimenting your professional abilities, I am here to tell you that you will not win this battle. I am larger and this is how the west was won, my friend.

In retort to your sniper invasions I will let you know that I have applied a shield of defense to every inch of our agreed parameters. A toxin to your kind that is so incredible it goes by the name of "DEMON". Scared, hah? If you can get by that, then try and get passed Meow, the Siamese Sargent of Stabbings & Disembodiment's.

Either I will succeed, or I won't succeed. And the definition of success as I described is first person violence down. Success is not no violence."
Thank You.

Spring Break 1991

In High School, my friends and I passed "the notebooks" around. Spiral bound, large size, school notebooks. We collectively decided that we were spending way more money on college ruled notebook paper for the purpose of writing notes than to do homework on. We would write notes in them and pass them along to each other between classes. There were usually a total of about 5 of them being traded at a time between four or five girls. There were definately four of us, but then we had guests, like one girl that wrote really funny poems about whatever was going on that day, I particularrly liked the ones about her car whom she named "Burfene". Burfene was bright yellow and old. It was one of those old cars that still kept running even after you switched the key off? "GRrrRMmMmMP.GREUUuuUuUmmP.GHAAaaaHAah.MvMFMFfff...". That old bitty of a car would get so damn mad when you got to where you were going that she just try to restart herself and drive back home. I swear that each seiszure ended up lasting for about 10 minutes at a time. Try and picture yourself as a High school girl having to drive that to school. school, a place where you park in the STUDENT parking lots.

Ok. Back to the notebooks. Some of them were intended for academic use, however one of us might have doodled something really good on our Algebra notebook, so it got thrown into rotation too with the first note being: "DUDES!LOOK at my cool doodle on the cover!". Once I remember that one of "the notebooks" had disappeared and we thought for sure that our secrets were going to be all over the school by homeroom. We were frantically passing notes about how frantic we were about our notes missing. I mean, everyone would find out how often we fought about who was taking who home from school. As it's put on one of loose notes used in "the notebooks" absence, a remaining note that I still have "...Christine, everything was in there EVERYTHING!! -Me & ***** (tongue!), me goin threw ****'s locker!- you goin threw **'s locker-!! your PARTY! EVERYTHING!!...". So. yah. We were all pretty alarmed.

How Ironic.
I have been looking for these notebooks. I thought they were in one of my chests but I can't find them. Everytime I think in my head where they are, I'm seeing exactly where they are, except it's happening at my house in Ohio.

I did find some old photos that are perfectly acceptable for the internet.

We went on Spring Break in Myrtle Beach. The year was 1991. My Senior year of High School. It was my maiden voyage, on an airplane and on VACATION without parents. I was 18.


At the airport waiting to go to Myrtle Beach! Jen, Jaymi, and Deana

I dunno where I gained the knowledge of how Spring Break is "supposed to be" due to the fact that my mom had the cable company come and put some sort of right wing christian HI, Higher and DOUBLE HIGH security block on my Mtv, but I KNEW, because the second night we were there Jaymi and I split the others and went to a KEG PARTY.

Jaymi and I after arriving in Myrtle Beach

The rest of girls came for a while, but then decided that going back to the hotel to sleep was way better an option than getting to college one step ahead by already knowing how to play "Three-Man". I kinda had another college up: I found out here, that I CAN NOT do a beer bong. That I SHOULD not ever try that again.

We had to walk home. FAR. Jaymi and I had to walk almost sixteen miles back to our hotel after the party. We might've been two Eighteen year olds so innocently on the verge of being involved in any sort of bad situation before we knew it, but the two of us like adventure, and we were after all walking instead of taking a ride from an intoxicated person that we barely even knew. You know how I remember this? I found some photos of it:


My first playing of "Three-Man".


I guess these were all the rides back to the hotel that we turned down...



Pictures of me with random guys just materializing before my eyes. Makes me wonder if we had some sort of "whoever comes home with the most pictures-with-guys wins." bet going on. Weird. Did we just walk up to boys and ask to take their picture? What's weirder than that is why is THIS dude in mostly every photo I have of the party? THAT BEER IS BUD DRY! Do they even make it anymore?
God. I loved that Green and Black windbreaker.