Monday, October 22, 2007

"We are not friends." Ok, if you say so.

"We are not friends. We are further from that than you know. You don't know how hard it is. I don't know where you get that (insert name of ex-husband's New Wife) is going to help me with shit-- because she doesn't --they don't. (Ex-husband) is not a father and (NW) isn't shit to (our son). I am done with people who think they have a clue about (EX-H), me or (my son) or anything to do with reality. My life sucks and (my son) wants his father. Can you fix that? I didn't think so. so stay out of what you think! -we are NOT friends."

I have a myspace account as well as this blog. A few days ago I got a message from one of my friends that was a little, to say the least, problematic. What you read above was the retort to my retort. You can read the exchange right here.

----------------- Original Message -sent to me out of thin air -----------------
From: (my used to be friend)
Date: Oct 13, 2007 3:07 AM

"I so wish we were still friends I'm so alone and everyone is on (EX-H'S)side you have no idea I'm crushed live my life I dare you actually I dare (EX-H) he's so great fuck him night"

----------------- My Retort -----------------
RE: No Subject
Body: (my used to be friend are you serious?! YOU're telling me that you see me as being on his SIDE? give me a break. it's not like that at all. I'm not chooosing sides. That's just it. I"m not choosing sides.

You are my friend. Your smile is so beautiful and I miss seeing it all the time. There are A LOT of times when I think about you and REALLY wish you were here.

I understand that it is hard for you. I do. I know a lot of single mothers that are always on the run for whatever. Be proud of yourself. You ARE Doing it. Sometimes it gets hard, it gets hard for me too. YOU have your son to come home to and to love. I have NOBODY.
I hate when you are feeling bad. I'm here for you (my used to be friend). you come down here and stay with me for a lil if you want.

I hung out with your son a little. What a little man he is. He's is totally awesome. You did that.
You're doing that.
tomorrow will be better.

have you stopped to ask yourself why you're so crushed? I thought that you made you mind up about your situation a long time ago?

Maybe it would be easier for you if you can get to the point that you can talk to (NW). she is going to have a part of raising your son and don't you think it would be better if she could call you and get advice on something or tell you something that he did rather than her asking someone else?

this is pre saturn stuff, (my used to be friend). It could be much easier for you emotionally if you get yourself over that hurdle. I'm not saying it'll be easy either. it will take some time.
There is someone out there for you. Must be destiny.

and one last thing.
that email was really rude.

I will not even go into detail about what led up to this point but just let me say that I HAD to post it up here. It was really no problem to delete her off my friends list. Or my life.

It really sucks when this happens. I've had to do it before. Its not to hard to read when someone is through with your friendship. I had a friend, a REALLY REALLY good friend that I loved dearly. After being involved in her life for many years I started to hear things like "OH GOD! I've been SOOOOO BUSSYYY!!! I've just been SOOO busy, I haven't had any time to call you."

Yah? Ok, that's ok, I understand.
But then, practically every time we talked some where in the conversation would be bits and pieces of " all the girls went to lunch.." or "...(blank) and I went shopping and then here, or here, or here." or "we had a big cookout at our house..." or "we all went to a show in Cleveland and and to dinner, IT WAS AWESOME!"... It was obvious that this person had TIME, just no time for ME. Not even a cup of coffee once a month. She just called to tell me how busy she was AND how they had such as blast going out the other night.

I tried. I was just asking for a little, to catch up and carry on. Even though I knew she was really busy, even though she was doing all of these fun things with my old friend from high school and her husband who was my (awful, horrible) ex-boyfriend, I didn't judge or let any jealously take the real reason I was upset. I was upset because I was being totally bamboozled by one of my best friends in the world. I was willing to MAKE the time. I was on the bottom of her "time for" list so I just let myself drop off of it all together.

It hurt, I wished that I had a boyfriend so that I could be included in her "couples only" new lifestyle. Then I just didn't even care. That's no excuse. I let go of it.

it had run its course. And so has this one.
I'm ok with that. I know who my friends are.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear that - hate when this sort of thing happens. But all you can offer is what you have, what you are. And it's ok to not choose a side. Hope things are good for you down there in the sunny tropics - just a long overdue stop by your page. 73 and a little sun (rain coming later) here in the 'burgh. ttfn - Toby


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