Friday, December 19, 2008

Diner- Pensacola Fl. (a review) in my opinion

**This post is edited. Any factual place or experience existing here in Pensacola Florida that would happen to be a diner is strictly coincidence. Any and all statement here are a mere replay of the food fantasies and delusions that I am haunted by in my sleep.**

My only credentials to be able to execute a review on a restaurant are that I pretty much have spent a good majority of my life working in a restaurant, or behind a bar. I KNOW how this is supposed to work. I am certain that I could walk into a restaurant and have confidence being in charge. It's a passive aggressive dance with hungry customers and the staff just wants to know they're doing a good job.

In my opinion the first thing needed to make a restaurant work: servers that know how to wait on a table.

Name: Vesille Diner
Location: Cervantes St. by the interstate and across from that tire place that has a "10" in it.
Years in making: about 12

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The recently opened diner is located in that building on Cervantes St. that all Pensacolians have been staring at for the last seven years. I noticed it was open when I was driving around at 9:30pm looking for someone to still be serving food in the land of "all ye good christians go to bed by 9:30pm". The sign said "open 24 hours" so I went in.

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I entered alone so I sat at the bar to fill my aching stomach. The set up is very similar to the WH (that's Waffle House). Open grill where you can see all the boogers the cook is rubbing on your meatloaf, and if anyone wears plastic gloves to handle the food. I cannot handle the server having their hands all over my food. Piling lettuce in a bowl for my salad with bare hands? YUK. Fingers all over the rim of my glass? YUK.

As soon as the servers got it straight who was supposed to wait on me I was handed a paper menu with three pages of food on it. One was breakfast. I didn't want that. I'm HUNGRY. I took a look around the room. The place is clean. The aesthetics are very nice. Atmosphere is quaint and not so much Mel's Diner as it resembles Starbucks. Things were unsystematic to say the least. The friendly server came over to me and asked me what I would like to drink. I asked for a Coke. She informed me that it was Pepsi. I didn't want that. When in doubt about a beverage past the Manson-Nixon line? - Sweet Tea.

She came back with my drink promptly and asked if I would like to order.
"what's good here? I've never been here before."
She smiled as she griped her pen getting ready to write on the small tablet "Uhm, well? I don't know. It's my first day here. I just started working here a few hours ago. I had the shrimps it was really yummy."

OOOOOWWWWH SHIT.
I'm HUnnnNnnnGRY. Here she stands without anyone even following her to help. Help would insure me of the fact that I will get food soon, and correctly. And she tells me that she had the shrimps?? whAt? when you were filling out your application?? "owh well." I thought to myself. "maybe she's so good that she doesn't need any help."

I just can't bare to order shrimps that were frozen from any restaurant around here. I ended up getting the meatloaf which I was perfectly in the mood for. I ordered a side salad also. My drink had been sitting there empty and I watched the waitress scurry around waiting on the other tables. It looked as if NOBODY had any idea what the hell was going on. Food was coming up in the "window" and it sat there for at least five to seven minutes while the correct server was located to deliver the order. Second thing to make a restaurant work: Food getting to the customers before it is cold.

A few large tables came in and the cooks got nervous. I still hadn't got my drink refilled and it looked like my food was getting ready to come off the grill. Dang. I wanted that salad. I watched my waitress walk away after she took my order. She did not go retrieve my salad. She disappeared into the back. I didn't want that.

The cook slid my plate into the "window" which was on the counter about a foot away from me and I slid it over closer. The meatloaf was so hot that I couldn't even touch it. I poked at the mashed potatoes and took a small bite. Cold.
My stomach begins to grumble at me.

When my server came out from the back the cook noticed that I never got my salad and pulled the server over to let her know as I watched. She headed over to her purse, took out some germ killing gel and squirted it into her hands.
"owh. my. god. she is not." I thought. She is. Over to the salad cooler she went, pulled out the giant bag of lettuce and stuck her hand right inside. "wha.wahhhhhhhhh." I whined to myself. I could just imagine my long awaited salad tasting like germ killer. Let me let you in on a little secret. IT'S A MARKETING PLOY PEOPLE. She put the salad in front of me without any salad dressing.

I just sat there and ate the food. Whatever up to this point, but at least I have food. As I sat there texting my friend on what a CF this place is I then noticed a server making something that looked rather interesting. It was something with ice cream and toppings, and YUM. I caught her eye and said "that looked really good! would you please make me one?". I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut. The result was so incredible that I had to sketch it out right at that moment.


Sevile Diner-Pensacola Fl
Factual representation. wahh.wahhhhh.

I looked at my receipt and it said "toppings..........$.89" huh? I asked about it. I got charged eighty nine cents for the chocolate that the girl put on my brownie! I think my face was stuck in one of those "if you don't stop it will freeze like that" poses.
I glanced over to see where she took the xanadu of all ice cream sundaes. A table of four cute boys.
End of story.

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I've been there twice and it pretty much went like this both times. So if you go, you most likely will want to like it but leave agitated and wondering what the hell just happened and on the verge of grabbing the manager's tag and having dialogue.

10 comments:

  1. The Seville Diner is copyright protected, so if you do not remove these images showing the signage and interior design by Monday, a copyright infringement suit will be filed against you, and will include damages associated with defamation of character. And by the way, all of our staff have been with us since opening and the way you use the words "shrimps" suggest to us that you may be racist. How sad for you!!!

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  2. alrightie there- Anonymous.
    Big. Scary. ANONYMOUS.

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  3. Well, who with a decent education uses the word "shrimps" anyway? It's like the word deer. It stays the same whether it is singular or plural. Maybe if you are talking about a group of short people, I could see it being used. Racist...please.

    So, what what would you do if a secret diner scoped out your place for a newspaper and also gave a bad review? And included pics? Would you threaten them and the paper? Are you going to have all those people who have their pics of the diner on Flicker, Myspace, whatever, threatened too?

    Touching the salad with bare hands...ugh. After using that stuff, double ugh. I'm certainly never going there. Get salmonella......

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  4. jJust a reminder to anonymous, we have video of the entire restaurant and we watched the said incident and the server did not touch the salad with bare hands! The proof is in the video, which I can produce!!!

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  5. because the best ANONYMOUS comment-er ever decided to leave their comment about this post WAYYYY back in a 2006 post, I'm moving it here...

    and I quote:
    "Anonymous said...

    Dear Christine

    In response to your comments about Seville Diner or any other establishment; you are a frightful joke. There have been many nights that I've sat at Seville and had nothing but a cup of hot coffee and I got top of the line service my entire stay. If indeed you are a graphic designer it surely does not show in you rendition of what you drew for desert. It's obvious to anyone that you drew two different deserts but you yourself can't tell which one is not like the other one; either you walked in with destruction on your tiny little screwed up, lonely, pathetic, self-important, 45 year old looking, whey-faced, need to get a man badly and stop screwing your dog attitude and really give credit where credit is due not based on the way you think things ought to be. I'm a realist in some retrospect and the things that you said about this diner is a total lie. Oh yes, my dear you are entitled to your opinion but please come back into the light and let reality caress your empty shell of a life. Before berating an establishment you need to get your facts in order and on point. Nothing you described was accurate. As a matter of fact the only thing you did was take good pictures which did back up your description of its cleanliness; but all that other BS is bogus and you are a pasty face wanna be food critic who need to stick to their day job.

    A WELL SERVED & SATISFIED CUSTOMER
    December 22, 2008 8:01 AM "

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Whey-faced!!so is that like little miss muffett with her curds and whey? hilarious.

    Just to clear the air. My attitude does not derive from me screwing my dog. I have a horse with a very large penis. Please give me some credit.

    Now go AWAY and tend to your most important and fulfilled life that I only wish I could have. Bless your heart.

    Good luck with your condition.

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  8. Slub,
    It is perfectly fine for someone to comment on their opinions of any public place or business. If the comments are about a business, make sure the comments made are accurate, if they are not, you can be sued for liable. Do you realize how harmful false or misleading statements can be for a business?
    And what in the world do the dirty sex comments made by you and another person have to do with a restaurant in downtown Pensacola.
    You may believe that by changing the spelling and fading out certain images of the diner that your post is OK. This is the last time I will contact you in regards to removing images of my diner from your blog. What you don't realize is that copyright infringement also includes similar images of said establishment with similar physical descriptiions of its location. Also, our uniforms are trademarked for our establishment, by you showing the unforms of our employees, you are violating the use of our trademarks. If you had an issue with the food or service at the diner, why could you not email the management or simply place a phone call to discuss your concerns? This will be the last reply to your blog before we consider immediate legal action against you. If this becomes a legal issue, we will seek compensation for the harmful remarks made by you concerning the diner. Also, after viewing the video of said incident, the only legimate issue you may have is that it took a couple of extra minutes for your beverage to be served. We will be providing this video as evidence if this becomes a legal issue. The last thing I want to dedicate time to is a legal issue, but our diner, its copyrights and trademarks must be protected.

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  9. Why is there so much anger?

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  10. If the owners are so concerned with legal issues, why are there no African-Americans employed in a predominantly African-American part of town?

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