I can't love you with your eyes wide shut.

I keep trying to place myself in a hypothetical situation whereas:

I very recently met someone that I connect with in magical ways. I look very forward to spending time with this person. When we are together the rest of the world comes to a whoa. My feelings are returned with a grown up sense of understanding and appreciation. And caring. We are confidant and excited for our future of growing together. My house is a home with this person.
But.
There is something taking my emotional state to ragged. I am ready to finalize the divorce. But this person, the one that I fell in love with not all that long ago is looking for redemption. Very last minute ditch efforts to convince me to reconsider. Remember that our love is stronger than this? Begging and pleading for another chance to give me all of the things that they had promised me on that day.

My conscience simply cannot allow me to be numb to this. I have deep emotional strings of loyalty and here is this person that I fell in love with at their utmost vulnerable state. While I listen to him turn the pages of the chapters numb feelings feed my brain the sadness I have for being the enigma of his brokenness. It makes me introspect with the knowledge that I have on the other side that in which I never felt they could give me in the first place. A slight escape from the confrontation.
As I tell him that I don't love him anymore my heart breaks with a certain sadness.

In an effort to understand your energy my guileless thoughts have no trouble jumping into that persona. I gather memories from one of my own past lives. Sure, it wasn't a marriage. But it was. I'm not one to believe that it takes a piece of paper. My thoughts are returned with compassion while knowing that we have all been there. We have all fallen out of love and we have all begged for forgiveness at some point in our lives. In some cases human nature leads to aggressiveness if we learn there are doors opening on the other side.

Your words are so sweetly reassuring. The only threat I sense comes from my own yearning to ease you. I can see through the looking glass and I respect that this may not be my place right now.
I don't know that I want it to be my place.
But still, your humanity makes me want to reach inside of you and hold with tender hands as I hear the maze of your voice. I am being careful to manage the state of your being because I respect you. I care about you.
I can't help but to want to give you any such space you need at this time. I suspect that you need this time to be in your cave. So please take it if you need it. Take it now before my own compassion dwindles into intolerance. I can't love you with your eyes wide shut.
The adoration that I feel for you has grown as I witness your empathy. The way in which you have handled yourself at such a weird time is as much of the extreme gentleman as it is sexy. Thank you for giving me the confidence of knowing you stand steadfast that I am indeed your desire.
It is all I need
to do what I do.

What phishs around comes around

Phish at Alpine Valley 6/21/09
Originally uploaded by phishfromtheroad

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Pick Your Artist: Phish.

Are you a boy or a girl?
sample in a jar

Describe yourself:
Golgi Apparatus

How do you feel:
your hands and feet are mangoes But your gonna be a genius anyway.

Describe where you currently live:
Rift

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Wading in the velvet sea

Your favorite form of transportation:
Lawn Boy

Your best friend is:
Wilson...WIIIIIILLLLLLLLSSSSSSOOOOOON

What's the weather like:
Split open and melt

Favorite time of day:
farmhouse

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
Reba

What is life to you:
bathtub jin

Your relationships:
When you're there, I sleep lengthwise
And when you're gone
I sleep diagonal in my bed

Your fear:
chalk dust torture

What is the best advice you have to give:
punch you in the eye

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Suzy Greenberg. Marco Esquandolaz.

My soul's present condition:
Bouncing Around the Room

My motto:
you enjoy myself

and then I fell out of my chair.

"This influence can introduce much pleasantness into your life through good times, agreeable relationships, sexual attraction and friendship. The problems that you will confront during this time are: overindulgence, lack of self-discipline, and unwillingness to work. This influence does not fit you for demanding work or trying situations, for you are likely to be lazy and unwilling to rouse yourself. If you don't have to accomplish anything, there is nothing wrong with this mood. In fact it is a good time to take it easy. But be careful not to overindulge in food or drink; today's good feelings may be tomorrow's headache! Your creative energies are stimulated, but you may lack the creative self-discipline that can turn a random outpouring of feelings into an artistic medium and disciplined art."

astro.com. GO. Know the EXACT minute you were born please.

stumbled upon me, as I did upon it

I know marketing well. I, myself market. I hold pride sometimes in my outstanding knowledge of the game. Its very hard to sell me with your broad impersonalized target techniques. It is an easy walk by and I fundamentally pay no attention to any corporations generalizations.

Not long ago a good deal approach me in the most creative of ways. In a social networking setting, I looked at the advertisements. I was monetary lured when I realized that over the years of the product's up and down market values and repeated loss of investors, the genuine value of said product had not changed in many years. Not in face value at least. 

I'm not really sure how I can go and make a statement like that because I haven't even set my eyes on the actual investment. But what I can tell you is that the direct marketing tactics that are being displayed by the franchise after they grew witness to my inquiries are mucho outstanding. So outstanding in fact, that I am allllmost willing to purchase sight unseen. 

This franchise is only working with the very best of copywriters, brainiacs and satirical humorists. Also he has looked into re-viving attention grabbing sales techniques that have been long since forgotten. The personal approach. That's what will make me pull. Thank you!

I'm inquisitive mostly. Doubtful hardly. I will watch silently by, for moments unlearned. I will take every emotional selling point in consideration. In my own time. I will notice the jealously I feel when others talk of the franchise before I get to view let alone commit to anything. Your adaptable proficiency will and should make me this way. 

Usually if the investment seems too good to be true- what is it? I'm not going to go on and focus on what "might" happen or what "could" happen because well, my gut tells me not to think that way in this case. Perhaps it was just that the failed investors weren't meant to be part of that universal deal in the first place? 

But. I mean, the nest is all I've got. How will I know exactly when to sign on the line? Without questions? Without fears of losing everything that I've built without assisted incentives of emotional and physical profits?  I've made investments before. None up to now have been successful. Most just ran their course of years. A few I pulled out of immediently. A few I lingered a little longer than my money was worth. But either way I'm sick of it. I want to make an investment in something real, that will be appreciating every living breathing day. 

I'm wondering if such has just stumbled upon me, as I did upon it.

an afternoon exchange

With one of my best friends. On ze Facebook.

Leggs: " ...is blah blah tunnel n light n stuff!"

me "your right sister! I'm crackin up"

L "What came first the light or the tunnel?"

m "the accident inside."

L "Lol. Anywho back to that tunnel...."

m "no use. you wont get to that point. too much romantics variables involved. that's a GOOD thing."

m "and you know your kind of "romantics" of course."

L "U make me lose my s***"

m "now you have me laughing really hard. you choose to edit your words on FACEBOOK?! ilu."

L "I have students..... And I'm mature!!"

m "we need to call it a day right here. I just hit a STOP SIGN. wheew."

L "Never dood. I don't have a stop sogn remember?"

m "good thing I got a few here and there. randomly."

L "Oh yeah! Your the best! Lmfao...."

m "your students know what that means."

L "No way dood"

Its all about the volley with a good friend. Happy.