self service 24 hr. car wash: the new hooker hangout?

So as I walk out of the circle K and approach my car to get in I see that some bird has taken vengeance on the Jettie. Some bird shit all over the front of my car like it had just eaten some McRib sandwiches. FOUR McRib sandwiches to be exact. Hm. Washing my car is one thing on my to do list, so I shall go. Now.

I thought of the closest self service car wash. One is over there, where I probably shouldn't be doing the whole "girl washing car" thing in front of the whole neighborhood. A neighborhood that I shouldn't be in after dark. But ah! there is another, the other way; about six blocks. I knew I would have the whole place to myself because 9:00 is like the middle of the night here. I pulled in and parked in the second to last bay.

For the thirty-first time I look down into the dark circular space intended for a cup and wish those tokens into quarters. (Lesson learned: never put $20 into token machine if most of the games SUCK.) that didn't work so I grabbed my little pursie purse and collected my $2.25 worth of quarters considering the damage done if I try to stick a token in the slot.

I have two dollar bills I can get change for if I run out of time so I pick up the sprayer and switch the dial to "rinse". I brought Mutch with me. He was so hilarious when I sprayed the window! His reaction was pretty much the same as a humans would be. Each time he made a funny face. I could totatlly do this for all of my allotted four minutes and twelve seconds, but I've been trying to not let the A.D.D control me. I began to work my way around the rest of my car. I take personal note that a little Tan truck has been sitting a few spots down at the vacuums and think that at least one other person washes their car THIS late at night.

I turned the switch to "foam brush"...geeze! that thing was squirting out pink bubbles! like right away! all over the floor! I turned to scrub the hood and noticed somebody duck around the corner. Whatever, they must be looking for change. I COVERED my car with what looked like a pepto-bismal and dish soap practical joke and I hear "Ehhhhssssuuuuze me MAmm. whhhold you hhHap ep ennn to have change furh a tin?"

I turn to look at whom is addressing me with a wildly foaming staff of metal spewing pink foam everywhere. I see...Gene Simmons meets Willie Nelson fondling some money and having energy of DRUNKenness. "No I don't. Sorry." I said. (Did THAT guy get out of THAT car??)
"oh, ok, sorry to bother you. By the way, you look REALLY NIIiiiiIICCCe in them jeans."

ohhh kaaaay uhhm. Look around and add all weapons within reach into mental inventory. Takes .002 seconds. I reckon I'm HOLDING a weapon. I'll foam him to death! It must have been written all over my face because he says "well sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. please forgive me, but you are (as he leans far back) woooowhhhe!"

Mutch is in the car. He hates drunk people. He shall be weapon number two. "Sir, you should go and wash your car." I said. In my way. More apologizing, and he's gone.

Ugh. That little exchange just cost me the rest of my time. I have to walk around the front (where he went) to the change machine. So there he is, standing up against the trash bin trying to write or something. WTF?
The stupid machine won't take my dollars (computer says NOOOooo) and here he comes. He gives to me in detail how the change machine will only take a dollar every few minutes. It's WEIRD like that.

I tried again, both slots. He's still talking and apologizing. And getting REALLY in my space. "SO, does it do this all the time?" I asked. He seemed to know so dam much about the thing, I was beginning to think he was the night attendant. "PSshhhht. HELL, I don't know. What? do I LOOK like the change machine attendant?"
SERIOUSLY? I had to stop to access the situation.

Walking back to my car that is covered in PINK FOAM I can hear him yelling out places I shall go to get change. The circle K a block down the street is open. I'd rather ignore him because I'm passed that. I'm now on DRIVING my car to the convenience store COVERED IN PINK FOAM.
And that's just what I did.

NOBODY even laughed. Can you believe that? Not even the skater boys walking into the store. And trust me you COULDN't miss it. Truthfully, it really upped the comedic value of the whole situation.
I returned to the car wash and that ford truck was gone. And so was "crazytown". I liked that.
Everyday is an adventure. (I would have kicked that guy's ass.)