some Lilacs I "aquired" on my walk today.

you know when you REALLY LOVE those old running shoes?

These are my old Addidas running shoes. I love these shoes so much and I wear them OFTEN. I know they look horrible and the bottoms are almost completely flat but they are women's trail running shoes and I haven't been able to find the newer version ANYWHERE. I know I paid a lot of money for them- in 1996. I feel really strong about the athletic shoe stores in the mall not carring the same quality of ADDIDAS shoe as I have here. Even if I found a simular shoe, when I picked it up it felt so cheap and light to me. I have been looking for the updated version of these shoes for about a year now.

Look at them. They're like a miniskirt you know you have no business wearing but you still do. The leather isn't even leather anymore.

These shoes hold a lot of memories. I was in Art School in Pittsburgh and working on the south side at a restaurant/BAR called Mario's / Blue Lou's. I needed them because on one shift, I would climb approximately 200,000 steps.

Oh, yeah we shuffled up and down three or four flights of steps with HUGE food trays, yards of beer, dog bowls, porta potties, tolit bowls, buckets of bottles, and trays of shots. We took bets to see how long it took a new server to be brought to tears by the owner, Bob Pessalano. and if it never happend within 3 weeks, you were IN. We were a pretty tight group. We partied together and we worked our asses off. We cracked on each other. We sucked all the air out of the whip cream containers in the cooler. We left the building completely on Fri. and sat. nights to walk over to McArdles Pub and do shots and then right after walk around the BLOCK and smoke a joint. We sold glassware out the back door for $50 a piece.
We sold the shirts we were wearing. We said "pshhht, whatever." when we saw you giving that blojob under the table. We slid down a fire pole with a birthday cake, sometimes upside down. We started fights, just because we (notme) were parting in the beer cooler while finishing off that case. We got you drunk, and I hate to say it, we swindled you. Hey, it was a fair exchange for having to drag your date and her girlfriend out of the bathroom at 3 am. Through their own vomit. Half naked.
Thanks to the "penthouse" upstairs, we KNOW what happens at bachelor parties. Oh, and how could I forget that we KNEW ALL THE HIDING PLACES in the building aahhhnd we made a SHITload of cash.
The place was robbing me of my goodness, stealing my innocence.

To say I digress would be ignorant. Back to the shoes. I heard about a running shoe store here in town that specializes in track and field shoes so I went to look for the new version of my most favorite shoes ever that I am so coveting... I FOUND them, they were even on close out, like half price! my size! They even have the little mud flap part on the very back! I wore them today on a long walk with Mutch and I'm telling you, I think things are looking great.

I LOVE the colors!

discordant moon

Things aren't running as smooth as they usually do over here. After a week of this going on I checked my "personal daily horoscope" on my favorite astrology site astro.com here's what it said:
Discordant moods
Weak, transient effect: This morning certain energies are at a high level. Probably you will feel quite physically energetic and want to accomplish a great deal. However, your energies may not be working very smoothly, because different areas of your life are working against each other now. You will have to work hard to develop harmony between your home and professional life, your conscious and unconscious personality, and your mind and feelings. You can accomplish a great deal as long as you don't get carried away by conflicts in these areas. In truth, for your life to work smoothly now, both sides of the areas mentioned above must be working together. Discordant moods can create difficulties in relationships at this time, especially if you are having any kind of internal emotional struggle.

SEE!? who said this stuff is bullshit? I'm emotional right now, way more than usual and it's not because I'm crazy, it's because my moon is opposing the sun, damnit.

commonly cold

You know, being sick really sucks. Not only because I wake up with my throat feeling like it's swelling shut, not because I notice my body aches more and more with a common cold as the years pass. Not because even though I have no desire to smoke a cigarette, I HAVE to or I start to loose my marbles after about 5 hours of nicotine withdrawl. nope. These are all reasons why I think being sick is horrible, but they are minor compared to the real reason I think being sick is horrible.

When it comes down to it, isn't it true that all everyone wants is someone to spend the days with, someone to love? Another human being that cares enough to just listen when your sassy, sick or feeling insecure without taking it personally? Someone who realizes that a happy girl gets unhappy sometimes?

If you only have time for a woman when she's happy, in a good mood, and run as fast as you can when she gives you a bit of grief then you're missing out. You're missing out on the best part. The part where she will never forget when you held her close and told her it's gonna be alright, the part where she wants more than anything to give that feeling back to you. The part where she sticks up for you when her girlfriends are crackin' on your bedroom habits. The part that makes you friends as well as lovers.

I used to not hate being sick. I used to. I didn't know how much worse it could be back then though. F'NA. I know now.

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Two more photos taken by Rob. so amazing. He captured "us" so well. silly. on Pensacola beach. 2002? Thanks Rob!!